What would Jesus do? Could I for one solid year commit to asking myself this question every time I was about to venture into a conversation, an uncomfortable situation or just another basic moment of my very own shallow life?
As I sit here writing this blog there are so many awful things happening in the world around me. Mass shootings, political slander, and children growing up without the understanding of what it is to have respect for others and for self. I live in a world of chaos and destruction. I have spent the past few years of my life full of some really big "woe is me" moments as well. So much so that I have often allowed them to take ownership of who I am. I have felt let down, taken advantage of, and abused. People are people and human is as human does......And as a result of my own human nature I continually allow things, and people, to rent space in my head.
God is God and He is faithful. And His ways are higher then mine. The more I pray, the more I sit at His feet,and the more I seek His face, the more I begin desire to be like Him. Yes, to be covered in His dust. I need to follow in His foot steps and be completely covered in the dust from the path He is leading. In order to prepare for the journey ahead I need a few things. An understanding of the truth, a willingness to obey, and a desire to seek.
How do we even begin to grasp an understanding of truth? In a world full of deception and lies it is often difficult to discern between a lie and the truth. It is human nature to want to look good. Even our leaders show that very human nature. They slander their opponent. Looking in every crack and crevice to find a flaw that they can build on to make the other candidate look horrible and not worthy of the vote. All this so that they can take the focus off of their own hidden flaws. Jesus never said magnify your neighbors flaws. He reminded us that we need to take the plank from our own eye first. The truth is that our hearts aren't always in the right place. More often than not we do things for selfish gain. Even making the decision to be a follower,these days, has become for our own selfish gain. We deceive ourselves into thinking that it is okay to continue in our sin because we are "sinners saved by grace". Ouch. And we hang our hat on "our deeds are like filthy rags" and lay down and do nothing because we got the "free express pass ticket" on the "gravy train". So, instead of having the "I deserve salvation" attitude, we need to seek the truth. And the truth is that we need to have the attitude of a servant. To follow the lead of Christ, who was and is, the greatest model of a servant to ever walk these dusty roads. God put on flesh and came to serve up a huge plate of everlasting life. We should savor each bite. Allowing eash tasty morsel to nourish us and give us the strength to carry out our mission. Let's humble our dusty selves and be a good student. When following in the steps of the greatest servant and Rabbi of all time we will then begin to see and understand real truth.
As a student, covered in His dust, we are called to be obedient. Being obedient isn't always easy. Especially when you live in a world that tells you it's okay to put yourself first. God tells us that we should do unto others in the same manner we would have them do unto us. Think about that. Now here is a good WWJD scenario. Your "neighbor", who has pretty much neglected you for years, comes to your door. They need to borrow your brand new car. Their car won't start and they have a very important job interview. And they need to leave immediately. You have a split second to make the decision. What is your answer? I can tell you that my split second answer would probably be, "What are you out of your tree?" But wait, I am not looking very dusty now, am I? WWJD......Let's flip the situation. Remember that plank in your own eye? What if the "shoe was on the other foot"? And the interview was your deal and you needed a car. You know that if your neighbor allowed you to borrow their car you would feel like you were just given the greatest blessing of the day. I know this is a really big ticket item. But what about the little things. Your phone, the computer, the lawn mower, a cup of sugar. What is that possession that God is asking you to "lend" to your "neighbor". How dusty are you going to get in your obedience? God's grace is new and overflowing every morning. He lovingly gives us a fresh fill every single day. And it is overflowing for a reason. Be obedient and share His grace. Be that biggest blessing in your "neighbor's" day.
God makes it easy for us to find Him. We just need to have a willingness to seek. I remember as a child playing hide and go seek. The whole neighborhood full of kids would get involved in the game. It was always exciting being the hider and the seeker. I remember burying myself deep in the depths of the closet and hearing the sound of the seeker's footsteps. I could sense their presence right outside the door. And, sometimes I would move slightly because I had a desire to be found. Usually, it would be because I had an admiration for the seeker. But most of the time I would hold my breath in hopes of not being the first to be located. I also loved being the seeker. I would go on the hunt. Looking for everyone. It was exciting. Just to find the prize under the bed, in a tree or in a cabinet. When we begin to seek God's word and all His treasures we should have that same excitement in our hearts. The prize of a life filled with an abundance of grace and forgiveness. To never fear a lie. To know that the dust that is covering you is His everlasting love. Imagine how exciting each minute of the day could be if we made the decision to be the seeker of the Lord. If you seek Him you will find Him.
I pray that the power of the Holy Spirit be upon each one of the Rabbi's student's. As we take these baby step and begin to imitate Jesus' every move. I pray that we continue to observe You through your most precious word. And also that those very words,"What Would Jesus Do", be tattooed upon our hearts, minds, and mouth. I know that I desire to be a straight A student. And, I know that when I wander off the dusty path, You will hold the line and wait for me. In my eyes I may only be an average student. But, You, Lord always see me as a prize.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Not the Prodical.........
To be jealous is to be envious or fearful of being replaced by a "rival".
I often feel like I live in the story of the prodical son. In my life it's not the Prodical vs the "I am right here" son. In my world it is the Inherited vs the Biological.
I am certain that there is a jealousy on both sides. There has to be. The inherited's no longer live at home. The oldest inherited lives and works in Istanbul, Turkey. And the second inherited moved out, got married and is now expecting our first grandbaby at any moment. And then there are the three biological's. And all three of them still live at home. The oldest,who is currently working as a nanny and going to school, is preparing to move away within the next few months. The second biological is in her fourth year of nursing school. And the youngest is heading to our local Penn State campus for his freshman year. All five of them have very different lives but the one thing they all have in common is this "home" and the privilege of being a part of this very dysfunctional family.
Five very different individuals that want to be treated equally. God created each and everyone of us to fulfill a very specific purpose. And not one of us is treated equally or the same. For me, the Lord has given me the blessing of a big family. And there are individuals to that don't have any family at all. It isn't because God loves me more that He blessed me with an abundant family. And it isn't because God loves those other individuals less.... or more depending on how you perceive the situation at hand. We are given what is needed. I know that God is a faithful God and He is a fair God. He gives each one of us what we need when we need it. His grace is sufficient and He is a very gracious God. Very gracious. In case you didn't read that I said a very gracious God. So, with that being said, how do I treat these individuals and give what I can to each of them when they need something from me? I too am one person. I have that same, "What about me" attitude. I often feel like others are getting more attention, more joy, and more love than me. I throw a little tantrum in my head. And often become withdrawn from the world. Woe is me. How can I, a person who struggles with the same "I want, give it to me, me first, I want it all, hey why did you do that for him/her and not me" attitude, show my family that each one of them will always be given what they need.....when they need it and if I can give it.
With an attempt at following the example of the Father, I try my best give to each one as I see fit in my heart. I rejoice over each one of my five kids. I am sure that at one time or another each on has played a duel role in this life. They have each been the prodical and have all stepping in to play the role of the tried and true. I just pray that eventually they will all be excited about each others welcome "home" celebrations. As each one of the five "prodical's" have and will return there will be a a time of rejoicing! And as the "I am right here's" get wind of the celebration, there will most likely be a touch of jealousy that brews in their heart. Just like the other brother in Luke 15: 11-32 they feel like shouting what about me. The "I am here's" instantly forget about the grace that was and is shown daily to them. Jealousy is a very ugly and destructive emotion. I know that there is a tug going on. They too want to rejoice but their jealous hearts can, and often do, get in the way.
The Father rejoices and blesses the returning son. Even when this child spent all his dad's hard earned money, slandered his family name, and went against the grain. Dad's arms are extended and still wanting to embrace his lost child. The only thing the prodical was able to give was himself . Imagine how difficult it must be to be so disconnected, physically and or mentally, from the family because of distance, lies, actions and other choices one made. It makes for a very humbling experience to walk into a room of "I am always here's". I praise God that He has given me the example of what unconditional love is truly about. The prodical needs grace. And, I know that I myself, a former and currently struggling prodical, continually receives a fresh fill of his grace every day.
God's grace is enough. And I am so thankful that He is God and I am not. I try hard not to be one of those parents who gives only because I expect to receive something in return. But, I often find that I am overwhelmed by the lack of gratitude. All my jealous heart really desires in return is respect. You know clean up after yourself, say thank you, have a willingness to help with stuff. I all reality my list of "all I want in return's" could go on and on and on. Because I am a brat too. I give and that is the easy part. The hard part is giving unconditionally. I pray that God will continue to direct me. As I seek His truth that I will remember each day to give to my prodical's and always here's the abundant grace that my Father in heaven continually give to to me, His prodical, every day.
I often feel like I live in the story of the prodical son. In my life it's not the Prodical vs the "I am right here" son. In my world it is the Inherited vs the Biological.
I am certain that there is a jealousy on both sides. There has to be. The inherited's no longer live at home. The oldest inherited lives and works in Istanbul, Turkey. And the second inherited moved out, got married and is now expecting our first grandbaby at any moment. And then there are the three biological's. And all three of them still live at home. The oldest,who is currently working as a nanny and going to school, is preparing to move away within the next few months. The second biological is in her fourth year of nursing school. And the youngest is heading to our local Penn State campus for his freshman year. All five of them have very different lives but the one thing they all have in common is this "home" and the privilege of being a part of this very dysfunctional family.
Five very different individuals that want to be treated equally. God created each and everyone of us to fulfill a very specific purpose. And not one of us is treated equally or the same. For me, the Lord has given me the blessing of a big family. And there are individuals to that don't have any family at all. It isn't because God loves me more that He blessed me with an abundant family. And it isn't because God loves those other individuals less.... or more depending on how you perceive the situation at hand. We are given what is needed. I know that God is a faithful God and He is a fair God. He gives each one of us what we need when we need it. His grace is sufficient and He is a very gracious God. Very gracious. In case you didn't read that I said a very gracious God. So, with that being said, how do I treat these individuals and give what I can to each of them when they need something from me? I too am one person. I have that same, "What about me" attitude. I often feel like others are getting more attention, more joy, and more love than me. I throw a little tantrum in my head. And often become withdrawn from the world. Woe is me. How can I, a person who struggles with the same "I want, give it to me, me first, I want it all, hey why did you do that for him/her and not me" attitude, show my family that each one of them will always be given what they need.....when they need it and if I can give it.
With an attempt at following the example of the Father, I try my best give to each one as I see fit in my heart. I rejoice over each one of my five kids. I am sure that at one time or another each on has played a duel role in this life. They have each been the prodical and have all stepping in to play the role of the tried and true. I just pray that eventually they will all be excited about each others welcome "home" celebrations. As each one of the five "prodical's" have and will return there will be a a time of rejoicing! And as the "I am right here's" get wind of the celebration, there will most likely be a touch of jealousy that brews in their heart. Just like the other brother in Luke 15: 11-32 they feel like shouting what about me. The "I am here's" instantly forget about the grace that was and is shown daily to them. Jealousy is a very ugly and destructive emotion. I know that there is a tug going on. They too want to rejoice but their jealous hearts can, and often do, get in the way.
The Father rejoices and blesses the returning son. Even when this child spent all his dad's hard earned money, slandered his family name, and went against the grain. Dad's arms are extended and still wanting to embrace his lost child. The only thing the prodical was able to give was himself . Imagine how difficult it must be to be so disconnected, physically and or mentally, from the family because of distance, lies, actions and other choices one made. It makes for a very humbling experience to walk into a room of "I am always here's". I praise God that He has given me the example of what unconditional love is truly about. The prodical needs grace. And, I know that I myself, a former and currently struggling prodical, continually receives a fresh fill of his grace every day.
God's grace is enough. And I am so thankful that He is God and I am not. I try hard not to be one of those parents who gives only because I expect to receive something in return. But, I often find that I am overwhelmed by the lack of gratitude. All my jealous heart really desires in return is respect. You know clean up after yourself, say thank you, have a willingness to help with stuff. I all reality my list of "all I want in return's" could go on and on and on. Because I am a brat too. I give and that is the easy part. The hard part is giving unconditionally. I pray that God will continue to direct me. As I seek His truth that I will remember each day to give to my prodical's and always here's the abundant grace that my Father in heaven continually give to to me, His prodical, every day.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
From Translucent to Transparent
The past few weeks/months God has been training me on the art of sitting at His feet. A lesson on being patient and waiting on Him to reveal the plan. And for those who know me, this isn't an easy task. I am not much of a sitter. I am more of a multitasker. I had this bad habit, still have a touch of it, of running myself into the ground. I stretched myself so thin that my life started to become very translucent. I was trying to be a light. However, there wasn't much clarity. You might say I am a bit of a "diamond in the rough".
I have been doing a lot of thinking, praying and seeking. My mind is blown away by His faithfulness. In scripture, I read two powerful words, Jesus says, "Follow Me". When my Lord and Savior calls on me, He is direct and to the point. "Kathleen, drop everything. And follow Me". My heart is overwhelmed. He wants me,the biggest sinner I know,to walk with Him. To sit at His feet and break bread with Him. Crazy! It should be so simple.....right. "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. And lean not on your own understanding. The thought of relinquishing everything. Dropping my net. Leaving everything behind. Not worrying about what others think about me. No looking back at the life I lived in the past. To keep my hands, both hands, on the plow and keep my eyes focused on His plan. NOT mine. Is terrifying to say the least.
God has and always will be consistent when He calls us to follow and trust in Him. Recently I took an adventure with a man named Jeremiah. He totally trusted in God's plan and followed without hesitation. You see the Babylonian's were coming to Jerusalem. And they were strong and they just defeated a town off to the east. And the people of Jerusalem weren't even close to being as strong as the towns people from the east. Some of the leaders believed that if they stood along side of the Egyptians they might have a chance. But, Jeremiah said, " Hold up. I don't think that is necessary we are going to be defeated. So let's just go out there and surrender. Why waste our time and energy fighting?" Can you imagine? Give up without a fight? Jeremiah must be out of his tree. But, he was trusting in the Lord with all his heart. He heard God, trusted His plan and shared what was put on his heart. Jeremiah never had to surrender. His fellow "friends" and leaders thought he was nuts and put him in prison. So here I am now. Thinking to myself. What if God told me to surrender to something that I thought was totally off the wall? Would I listen and follow. Or would I ignore the calling?
While my new friend, Jeremiah, sat there in prison. He was encouraged, comforted, and given wisdom. ("Moreover the word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah the second time, while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison, saying, Thus saith the Lord the maker thereof, the Lord that formed it, to establish it; the Lord is his name; Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. Jeremiah: 33:1-3). God says to each of us, "call unto me!"
God is ALWAYS faithful. Again, I will say it. God is ALWAYS faithful. And sometimes He may need to go to some extreme measures to get us to call out to Him. For me, the most recent, that tribulation that brought me within the cell walls, was the event of fabrications being told about my household family members. And those vilification's came from one of our own "towns people". But these events, as they continued to unfold, made me feel insecure, broken, and confused. I sat back, fell to my knees and waved the white flag. "I surrender". And as I said, "He, God, is ALWAYS faithful". Just as He did with Jeremiah, He began to give me encouragement by telling me, "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you" ~2 Chronicles 20:17. And comforted me with, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" ~Psalm 34:18, "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." ~Psalm 71: 20-21, and He gave me strength with "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:18-31.
God's timing is always perfect too. Every trial, tribulation and prison stay is His way of saying, "Be still and know I am God." He can and will calm the seas, move the mountains and fight the giant. He can and will right all the wrongs. He is ALWAYS faithful.
My heart will still get hurt and I will probably get overwhelmed in the things that I choose to get involved with. I am just praying that I will be a light in my husbands eyes and also in the eyes of my children and my children's children. I want to leave a legacy that has great clarity. My desire is to become less translucent and more transparent. God knows the deepest and ugliest parts of my heart and soul. He created me and knows every crack and crevice. And He also know how to refine this stone into a gem.
I have been doing a lot of thinking, praying and seeking. My mind is blown away by His faithfulness. In scripture, I read two powerful words, Jesus says, "Follow Me". When my Lord and Savior calls on me, He is direct and to the point. "Kathleen, drop everything. And follow Me". My heart is overwhelmed. He wants me,the biggest sinner I know,to walk with Him. To sit at His feet and break bread with Him. Crazy! It should be so simple.....right. "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. And lean not on your own understanding. The thought of relinquishing everything. Dropping my net. Leaving everything behind. Not worrying about what others think about me. No looking back at the life I lived in the past. To keep my hands, both hands, on the plow and keep my eyes focused on His plan. NOT mine. Is terrifying to say the least.
God has and always will be consistent when He calls us to follow and trust in Him. Recently I took an adventure with a man named Jeremiah. He totally trusted in God's plan and followed without hesitation. You see the Babylonian's were coming to Jerusalem. And they were strong and they just defeated a town off to the east. And the people of Jerusalem weren't even close to being as strong as the towns people from the east. Some of the leaders believed that if they stood along side of the Egyptians they might have a chance. But, Jeremiah said, " Hold up. I don't think that is necessary we are going to be defeated. So let's just go out there and surrender. Why waste our time and energy fighting?" Can you imagine? Give up without a fight? Jeremiah must be out of his tree. But, he was trusting in the Lord with all his heart. He heard God, trusted His plan and shared what was put on his heart. Jeremiah never had to surrender. His fellow "friends" and leaders thought he was nuts and put him in prison. So here I am now. Thinking to myself. What if God told me to surrender to something that I thought was totally off the wall? Would I listen and follow. Or would I ignore the calling?
While my new friend, Jeremiah, sat there in prison. He was encouraged, comforted, and given wisdom. ("Moreover the word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah the second time, while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison, saying, Thus saith the Lord the maker thereof, the Lord that formed it, to establish it; the Lord is his name; Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. Jeremiah: 33:1-3). God says to each of us, "call unto me!"
God is ALWAYS faithful. Again, I will say it. God is ALWAYS faithful. And sometimes He may need to go to some extreme measures to get us to call out to Him. For me, the most recent, that tribulation that brought me within the cell walls, was the event of fabrications being told about my household family members. And those vilification's came from one of our own "towns people". But these events, as they continued to unfold, made me feel insecure, broken, and confused. I sat back, fell to my knees and waved the white flag. "I surrender". And as I said, "He, God, is ALWAYS faithful". Just as He did with Jeremiah, He began to give me encouragement by telling me, "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you" ~2 Chronicles 20:17. And comforted me with, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" ~Psalm 34:18, "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." ~Psalm 71: 20-21, and He gave me strength with "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:18-31.
God's timing is always perfect too. Every trial, tribulation and prison stay is His way of saying, "Be still and know I am God." He can and will calm the seas, move the mountains and fight the giant. He can and will right all the wrongs. He is ALWAYS faithful.
My heart will still get hurt and I will probably get overwhelmed in the things that I choose to get involved with. I am just praying that I will be a light in my husbands eyes and also in the eyes of my children and my children's children. I want to leave a legacy that has great clarity. My desire is to become less translucent and more transparent. God knows the deepest and ugliest parts of my heart and soul. He created me and knows every crack and crevice. And He also know how to refine this stone into a gem.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
A trip to Paradise.....paid in full.
This morning, before getting out of bed, I thanked God for this days fresh fill of His grace. I then proceeded to go make the coffee to get the fresh jump start on my adventurous day. As I sipped on the fresh brew, I flipped on my kindle and started to read. The statement I fixed my eyes, my head and my heart on was, "There is no believing without following". John 3:16 states, (come on, say it with me) "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." In this verse the most resounding words in my mind and heart are "whosoever believes". This is an open invitation. It is kind of like the Valpac that comes in the weekly mail. It doesn't discriminate and it is delivered to every house. We all know that there are some pretty nice deals in that envelope. But often the recipient of the envelope just throws it away without even looking into the deals. I myself like to look through to see where I can save. Inside this weeks Valpac, is a coupon for John 3:16, is an invitation. It's an all inclusive, paid in full, with luxurious accommodations, trip to Paradise. All I have to do is dial 1-800-YES-LORD. And press one for "yes" or two for "not now, I am really enjoying the trip I am on." But there is more to this phone call. Once I press #1 I get transferred to an agent of the Lord by the name of Luke. Luke reviews the invitation. He wants to be sure I have a very clear picture of what it meant when I pressed one for "yes". He explains that Jesus, the sender of the invite, wants to have a deep, passionate, and very real relationship with me. A relationship that will last an eternity. Now, Luke inquires, are you ready to accept this paid in full journey to Paradise? I respond with, "I have a question. Why is it that I got this invitation? Why would Jesus want someone like me sitting at His table. Why would He want a sinner, one of the biggest I know of, sitting at His feet just so He could gaze into my eyes. And, is He really okay with me following Him at the risk of ruining His own reputation?" "Hmmm, Luke responds, that is a very great question. Jesus' heart is overwhelmed with joy! You see from the beginning of time He has had His eyes on you. He was waiting for just the right moment to send that invitation. He loves you and is willing to wash away every horrible thing you have done." "Is it really that easy?" I ask. "Well, I am not going to tell you it is an easy journey. You are going to have to lay a lot of things down. You may even lose some friends and family members. But you will never be alone. The burdens may, at times, feel heavy and unbearable. But I can tell you first hand that you will never regret pressing one for "yes". Can I put you down for a reserved spot? " I nervously say, "yes". There is a brief pause and I hear a very calming voice. Jesus gets on the line and says, "follow me."
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9: 23
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9: 23
Monday, November 21, 2011
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within.......I surrender....
For the past week I have had the words to the song "Surrender" rolling around in my head. And to be honest I thought about what it would mean when I truly surrender it all to Him. To give God my heart completely. To lay down my life my dreams, my pride and all my rights just to have the promise of a new life. A life filled with God's grace, love and indescribable peace and joy. I had a moment where I realized that, in order for me to have the love relationship that my king wants, I have to make some BIG changes. He doesn't want just my empty moments. He wants my every moment. He wants to share in ALL my joy and pain. And He wants to be there to laugh with me and cry with me. He desires to be my All in All, & my one and only. He wants me to run to Him when my world is turned upside down. He doesn't what to share the role of King of my heart. His desire is for me to want this for our relationship as well. And to let the true character of my light shine through. To allow myself to be vulnerable, completely exposed for all to see. The reality of this relationship seemed more than a bit uncomfortable. "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18
I am attempting to define my relationship with God. And what it truly means to lay it all down and be a follower of Christ. That's right relationship not my religion. Webster's defines Relationship as : the state of being related or interrelated; the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as a :kinship or specific instance or type of kinship; a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings (had a good relationship with his family); a romantic or passionate attachment. God wants to have an intimate relationship with me, a passionate attachment. But before I can even begin to define my relationship with this King of my heart, I need to understand where my faith is in Him. Is my faith more about honoring my heritage and family traditions than surrendering my heart and being interrelated with my God.
Am I the Pharisee who spends hours committing to memory the rules and regulations, saying and doing all the right things because of these guidelines? When I am memorizing scripture it is a beautiful thing. But surely it is empty without gratitude in my heart for my Savior. Religiously, the Pharisees accepted the written Word as inspired by God. But they also gave equal authority to tradition. The pharisees defended this idea by saying it went all the way back to Moses, these traditions added to God's Word, which is forbidden ( "Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you." Deuteronomy 4:2) They remained true to God's Word in reference to some doctrines. They believed that God controlled all things, yet our free will and our independent decisions contribute to the course of life. They believed in the resurrection of the dead. And they believed in an afterlife, with appropriate reward and/or punishment on an individual. The Pharisees sought to equally and strictly obey traditions along with the Old Testament. Trying to be fair... I see.
Am I able to categorize my relationship to be something outside of those two "boxes"? I want so much more than just a "religious" relationship. I believe that God is the creator of all things. I don't believe that I am just existing to exist. I know that God has set out a great purpose for my life. And I know that His love for me is greater than any love I could ever imagine. And it's more incredible than any love another individual could give to me. He is unconditional. He waits patiently for me every minute of every day. And His heart is filled with joy when I finally arrive. I pray that I grow more and more like Him. I want so much to be a reflection of Him amazing grace. I fall short. Majorly short. I want to be that follower that clings to the hem of His garment because I want to be just that close. Better yet a child, who has no fear of what people will say, do or think, that I just push through the crowd and run into his arms and allow Him to carry me.
I am so caught up in my own little world. Sometimes, I am so full of these "what about me?" moments, I forget why it is that I am here. "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."(Romans 8 27-28). God knows my heart better than I know my own heart. I have a growing desire to know God's heart for me more than ever. I want so much more than just a one sided....His side....relationship. I pray for the courage to surrender it ALL and allow Him to rule in my heart, mind and actions.
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you
I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain
I am attempting to define my relationship with God. And what it truly means to lay it all down and be a follower of Christ. That's right relationship not my religion. Webster's defines Relationship as : the state of being related or interrelated; the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as a :kinship or specific instance or type of kinship; a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings (had a good relationship with his family); a romantic or passionate attachment. God wants to have an intimate relationship with me, a passionate attachment. But before I can even begin to define my relationship with this King of my heart, I need to understand where my faith is in Him. Is my faith more about honoring my heritage and family traditions than surrendering my heart and being interrelated with my God.
Am I a Sadducee, existing in an aristocratic state of mind and not fully understanding my role in this relationship with my King? Am I so puffed up that I cannot see or feel the true love of my Savior? Sadducees were more concerned with politics than religion/relationship. They tended to be wealthy and held powerful positions, including that of chief priests and high priest. They worked hard to keep the peace by agreeing with the decisions of Rome. The Sadducees goal was to preserve the authority of the written Word of God, especially the books of Moses. However, because of their wealth and power, they were extremely self-sufficient to the point of denying God's involvement in everyday life. There was no penalty or reward after their earthly life. How Sad....you see.
Am I the Pharisee who spends hours committing to memory the rules and regulations, saying and doing all the right things because of these guidelines? When I am memorizing scripture it is a beautiful thing. But surely it is empty without gratitude in my heart for my Savior. Religiously, the Pharisees accepted the written Word as inspired by God. But they also gave equal authority to tradition. The pharisees defended this idea by saying it went all the way back to Moses, these traditions added to God's Word, which is forbidden ( "Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you." Deuteronomy 4:2) They remained true to God's Word in reference to some doctrines. They believed that God controlled all things, yet our free will and our independent decisions contribute to the course of life. They believed in the resurrection of the dead. And they believed in an afterlife, with appropriate reward and/or punishment on an individual. The Pharisees sought to equally and strictly obey traditions along with the Old Testament. Trying to be fair... I see.
Am I able to categorize my relationship to be something outside of those two "boxes"? I want so much more than just a "religious" relationship. I believe that God is the creator of all things. I don't believe that I am just existing to exist. I know that God has set out a great purpose for my life. And I know that His love for me is greater than any love I could ever imagine. And it's more incredible than any love another individual could give to me. He is unconditional. He waits patiently for me every minute of every day. And His heart is filled with joy when I finally arrive. I pray that I grow more and more like Him. I want so much to be a reflection of Him amazing grace. I fall short. Majorly short. I want to be that follower that clings to the hem of His garment because I want to be just that close. Better yet a child, who has no fear of what people will say, do or think, that I just push through the crowd and run into his arms and allow Him to carry me.
I am so caught up in my own little world. Sometimes, I am so full of these "what about me?" moments, I forget why it is that I am here. "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."(Romans 8 27-28). God knows my heart better than I know my own heart. I have a growing desire to know God's heart for me more than ever. I want so much more than just a one sided....His side....relationship. I pray for the courage to surrender it ALL and allow Him to rule in my heart, mind and actions.
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you
I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain
Friday, October 21, 2011
"Your salt depends upon the character of your light"
What is my purpose in this life? What am I living for? Do I live from day to day just letting the seconds unfold without direction. Am I just surviving and looking out for me, myself and I. Or is there something more to this life. Am I here to make a difference in the lives of my family, friends, and others? God has a plan and a purpose for my life. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The wedding day is almost here. In less than 24 hours, we will all be a family. As Sarah and Duane become one through marriage tomorrow, our families become linked. Last night for me was symbolic. The families all coming together and laughing crying and preparing for this great day. Each one has a purpose in this expanding family. But again I ask...what is my purpose? Where is my place? Am I an arm, a hand, a finger or a finger nail? Each part has a purpose. Even in those moments when I may feel insignificant, I am reminded that even the finger nail has a purpose. Just because I am a "step" parent doesn't mean my role is less important in this family. Because I am not a biological parent doesn't meant I have to be on the outside looking in. I am discovering a lot about who I am. I know this for sure I am a kid of the Most High. I know that as each day unfolds more of my purpose is revealed. When I feel I lack purpose, it's because I am forgetting that I am not supposed to be doing this for me. That in everything I do I am to be giving all glory to God. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.." 1 Corinthians 12-26
This family, is not only like a body with many parts, it's like a a big pot of slow cooking a stew. There are many different ingredients. We have savory, sweet, bitter, sour and salty. And each ingredient has a specific time it needs to be added. When my kids were little I would remind them every morning as they left the house, to go out into the world and be salt and be a light. For the most part they have done their best. I have seen the effects of salt and light in this new pot of stew, family, that is simmering. I know that as each new day dawns, I may have a new purpose and be a different ingredient. I am a servant. And I pray that my heart stays lit and constantly glows. I praise God for each member of this expanding family. I am overwhelmed with joy to see the light in each person's heart. "Your salt depends upon the character of your light" ~Charles Swindoll.
God has given each person a gift. For some it's being a servant, or a teacher, or a talker,or a listener,or an artist,or a chef, etc.... We all have a purpose. And God has a plan. "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6
The wedding day is almost here. In less than 24 hours, we will all be a family. As Sarah and Duane become one through marriage tomorrow, our families become linked. Last night for me was symbolic. The families all coming together and laughing crying and preparing for this great day. Each one has a purpose in this expanding family. But again I ask...what is my purpose? Where is my place? Am I an arm, a hand, a finger or a finger nail? Each part has a purpose. Even in those moments when I may feel insignificant, I am reminded that even the finger nail has a purpose. Just because I am a "step" parent doesn't mean my role is less important in this family. Because I am not a biological parent doesn't meant I have to be on the outside looking in. I am discovering a lot about who I am. I know this for sure I am a kid of the Most High. I know that as each day unfolds more of my purpose is revealed. When I feel I lack purpose, it's because I am forgetting that I am not supposed to be doing this for me. That in everything I do I am to be giving all glory to God. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.." 1 Corinthians 12-26
This family, is not only like a body with many parts, it's like a a big pot of slow cooking a stew. There are many different ingredients. We have savory, sweet, bitter, sour and salty. And each ingredient has a specific time it needs to be added. When my kids were little I would remind them every morning as they left the house, to go out into the world and be salt and be a light. For the most part they have done their best. I have seen the effects of salt and light in this new pot of stew, family, that is simmering. I know that as each new day dawns, I may have a new purpose and be a different ingredient. I am a servant. And I pray that my heart stays lit and constantly glows. I praise God for each member of this expanding family. I am overwhelmed with joy to see the light in each person's heart. "Your salt depends upon the character of your light" ~Charles Swindoll.
God has given each person a gift. For some it's being a servant, or a teacher, or a talker,or a listener,or an artist,or a chef, etc.... We all have a purpose. And God has a plan. "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6
Sunday, October 9, 2011
True love is superglue
This morning I have been reflecting on marriage. And praising God for allowing me to have a second chance at being a wife. Scripture tells us that love is patient, kind , it isn't jealous and doesn't boast. In all honesty I often lack patients And sometimes my words aren't so kind. And yes, I have some puffed up moments now and then. But, God has blessed my life with a husband that is willing to accept me for the crazy me I am.
In just a few days my inherited daughter and soon to be son-in-law will be walking down the isle to say I do. And I have been praying for this precious couple. I know God sees their hearts for each other. And I pray that as they begin this journey as husband and wife they continue to grow in their love. I pray that they have the desire to have compassion for each other. To be humble and gentle in all circumstances. And that they both find courage to forgive whatever needs forgiving and wisdom to understand their differences. Just like the bands of gold they will place on each others fingers as they pledge their love, marriage is a forever circle of life's most important relationships. They will become and remain each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And will discover that love is superglue.
I am thankful that the experiences of the past haven't tainted the step of the future. Divorce is an ugly thing. And, unfortunately, my children, biological and inherited, are all a product of the big "D" word. When Greg and I got married it wasn't just the two becoming one. It was a whole crew. I had three precious gems to contribute from my first marriage. And Greg had two from his. I had been single and raising my three on my own for a few years. And the same with Greg. So we had to be very strong in our commitment to each other. And in the process we also had to define true love for our children. Which is hard to do when they are confused.
A second marriage, with children, takes a whole lot of love. I didn't realize that I would not only be a wife, mom, and step-monster but I would become a fireman too. Putting two families together is like putting a match box close to a fire. Eventually sparks are going to ignite. And throughout the course of our marriage there have been quite a few fires. To be honest, I often look back at those fires and praise God for His faithfulness. The family did a lot of growing. For Greg and I, our love for each other was and is constantly being tested. Our children know that not only do we love each other. But we love each one of them. They have been a part of our union since the very beginning with there hands on the pulse of our relationship. We wanted their input on our wedding and our future as a family . It wasn't easy for any of us. Greg and I did what we thought was best for the whole crew. There were and are moments when the stress and fear was and still is so great. But God is ever present. Two families becoming one. I love that our children know that, whether it be a financial need or emotional need, we will do anything for them. As each child grows and goes in their own direction I pray that the love they have witnessed in this crazy house will be branded on their hearts forever. We aren't even close to being the well adjusted and put together "Brady Bunch". But we have love. Yes, we still have "water and oil" moments. But, together with a pinch of love, sometimes that makes a good dressing.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment it is the willingness of two people to come together in search of the best. And the desire to bring it out in one another. It encourages and develops the newness of life. Marriage offers opportunities to share and grow in ways that no other relationship can compare. It is an emotional and physical connection that is a promise of a lifetime. This union deepens and enriches every life experience. Commitment to each other is stronger than ever before. Your memories are much more vivid. Happiness is more abounding. Even the level of anger seem more passionate, however forgiveness come more rapidly. Mistakes are unavoidable this is why communication is so important. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." ~Ephesians 4:2-3 Understanding and forgiveness are virtues that are like glue. Together they create a bind that holds them closer than any spoken or written words. "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity." ~ Colossians 3:14
Marriage is a promise before God, made in the hearts of two people who love each other. It is a covenant that takes a lifetime to fulfill. And I am thankful for the lifetime that has been provided.
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