Turn Left.....Turn Left....Recalculating

The road of life certainly has a lot of twists and turns.  I  have made a lot right turns and, more than I care to admit, wrong turns in my life.  But each time I eventually find myself getting back on track. I try to stay focused.  I know the destination.  It's the Mountains that I must climb, the valleys I must walk, the deserts that I crawl, and the forests that I wrestle through that cause me to get redirected.  But all of these elements create the story of my life.

In this day in age most people have a GPS.  I have three.  One in my car.  I have an application on my phone.  And then there is the one in my head.  Like most normal people I begin my journey with a plan.  I have a starting point and a destination.  I know where I am but I need to map out where I am headed to.  So, I plug the address into the three devices.  And about 50% of the time the car and the phone are congruent with the path.  My head has a slightly different perspective.  I gather the necessities for the trip and start the journey.  In the beginning the surroundings are quite familiar.  So, I trust the direction the GPS's are taking me.  But when I cross the boarder of knowledge into the land of the unknown my confidence is shaken. And the GPS that is in my head takes over.  And this is why a 3 hour trip takes me 7 hours.  I hear, "In 0.2 miles turn left.....turn left.....recalculating." quite often.  I try to look at the map and follow the turns but I then begin to doubt if I I am turning at the right spot. I think that doesn't look right. (Possibly, because I forgot my glasses.)  And I either turn too soon or pass the turning point. And the journey grows a few minute longer with each wrong turn.  Recalculating.

We all have a journey. Or I like to think of it as a calling or a pilgrimage.  Some have a very clear idea of where they are going.  And others, me for example, have a hard time getting there because I am too busy trying to get there on my own.  God has a plan for each of us.  As we learn to trust in Him and follow Him He will then reveal to us the true nature of our design.  And He will "give us the desires of our heart" along the way.  If we focus(remember to wear our glasses) He will direct our path and reveal His beautiful intentions for our journey.  What we were created to do is deeply rooted in the desires of our heart.  Think about the things that you do right now that bring great joy to your heart.  That's right.  What gives you joy?  You may have a list of things.  Or perhaps you are feeling a bit perplexed.  Whatever state you are in just remember that God has a plan.  And He WILL give you the desires of your heart.  Even if it isn't clear yet, and you are making wrong turns, God has the journey mapped out.  "It is God who is producing in you the ability to do what pleases Him" ~Phil. 2:13  What we were designed to do or called to do is what brings us joy.

As I sit here this morning.  I am still praying that God will give me the desires of my heart. But to be honest I am not always certain what the desires of my heart truly are. Sometimes I am too caught up in where I am that I get complacent. I lose sight of what gives my heart joy.  When our hearts are in the right place God begins to create in us both the desire and the ability to do what pleases Him. I have made five job changes over the course of my adult life.  And the one thing about each of those jobs, that seemed to be congruent, is that I was able to love and care for others.  This truly gives me great joy.  My heart is happy when I am put into situations where I can serve others.  Often I put others ahead of myself so much that I forget that I am on a journey too.  God has always made it very clear to me that I was either in the right place or that I made a wrong turn.  And there have been times that I stayed far too long in a place that I was just supposed to pass through because I was fearful of driving through a storm. As a result some jobs have robbed me of my joy. However, just like grace, God has continually replenished my joy, aka the desire of my heart, daily.  He wants us to have all the desires of our heart. And He will provide a way for us to have them. As long as they are fitting in His plan for your journey. We will pass through many places, seasons and situations.  Each of these is part of the journey to get to the final destination.

I pray the you all search your hearts this week.  And pray that our Relentless God will bless you abundantly with the desires of your heart.

Ask, seek, knock.....

What an adventurous week this past one was.  A short work week that seemed unusually long.  Followed by a weekend spent with some of the most beautiful women in my life.  And now I am home sitting in my usual spot praying for the Holy Spirit to guide me in putting my thoughts from this week and weekend into this post.

I guess the best way to describe life is that it is an adventure.  Your adventure can either be a safe trip to the grocery store. Plotting out your purchases and traveling up and down each isle gathering the items on your list.  Each item has it's spot and each spot has it's item.  Occasionally an item may be found in a spot that it doesn't belong.  Perhaps it was left there by the misguided shopper before you.  Or your adventure might be more like a treasure hunt.  You have a list of items, a map and the hunt begins.

I like to think of my life as more like a treasure hunt.  In Matthew 7: 7-8 Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."  And if you have ever gone on a road trip with me you know that, even if the directions are supplied, I tend to turn when I am not supposed to.  And a trip that should have been 3 hours becomes a 7 hour tour.  Yes, I have a GPS.  But I have this horrible habit of doubting the directions it offers.  

This past Friday my cousin Jane and I drove together to OCNJ for our cousins weekend.  We got in the car with our "Thelma and Louise" scarves on and the wind blowing in our hair.  The journey had begun.  I set the GPS and made a plan to follow it's direction.  We made it to our destination 30 minutes later than the GPS had originally predicted.  My fault completely.  I kept saying, "Hmmmmm, this doesn't look familiar to me."  And a few times Jane had to use her charming smile to get another driver to let us into their lane.  I have to admit I am thankful she was my copilot.  Because if she wasn't there I might still be on the road trying to find my way to the beach.  I find that my life as a Christian woman is much like my road trips.  God supplies me with the map.  Gives me guidance. And I still manage to get off the path. It's called lack of faith.

I wish I had the faith of a child.  Usually on a Sunday I grab a basket and take my granddaughter out to our little garden in the back yard.  She loves to pick the vegetables and herbs. She gets most excited about the cherry tomatoes. Her smile and joy grow with each of these tasty treasures she finds.  She picks it and asks, "Grandma, can I eat this?"  Most of the time she has eaten her harvested veggies before we get back in the house.  She does things a little backwards.  She knocks on the door, seeks and then asks.  She is persistent in the search and is certain that she is going to find some delicious morsels. And she never lacks faith the there will be more tomatoes, herbs and veggies for her to pick week after week.  I praise God for her example of faith.  But sadly I have to admit that, as an adult, this faith and ability to ask, seek and knock often diminishes or becomes less and less frequent. I pray that my desire to seek Him first remains consistent.   And that I don't just ask, seek and knock when life becomes more like an obstacle course. Just like my little angel,  aka three year old granddaughter, God desires for me to be persistent with my wants need and desires. As a result He will show us the true desires of our heart.

I am not 100% sure of what my calling is in this thing called life.  But I know that He is faithful and that He has a plan for my life.  His promises are true.  So, like I said last week, I am not sure what direction I am going.  I pray that God will continue to guide me and that I will stop hesitating and turning down the wrong road.  I pray that we all become more persistent in asking Him to give us the desires of our heart; seeking His calling on our lives and knocking until the door of opportunity is wide open.

   

Where you invest your love.....

What next? What direction do I go now that the net has been dropped.  And how do I know for sure that this is God's calling on my life?

I spent the last few nights praying for direction.  Honestly I am feeling a little blank.  I am not very good at sitting still.  Perhaps this is the Martha in me.  However, the past few weeks have been a process of learning to sit still and bask in God's love and grace.  With that being said I will attempt to be still and patiently wait for His call. Not that is will be difficult this week as I blog from hotel room in Oceanside, Ca.  The sound of the waves, and not to mention the view, is captivating.   I am feeling very blessed and trying to be still

I feel almost as if the "honeymoon" has come to an abrupt end.  This is really the best way I can describe the thoughts that are running through my mind.  I remember the incredible overwhelming feeling of being filled with the knowledge of God's grace and forgiveness when I first accepted Jesus as Lord of my life.  I was like a newly wed bride.  I felt this amazing glow in my heart.  And butterflies in my stomach. I am pretty certain that people around me knew that there was something different about me.  I had been remade.  I was new. I spent any and all of my free and not so free time seeking to know God more.  So what happened over the past 22 years?  Did my love fade?  Or just morph into something different? Had I become complacent in my relationship with my Beloved? I would have to say a little of each. And I feel so blessed that, through the help of Frances Chan's book "Crazy Love", my love has been reignited.  I pray that being madly in love with my Creator, Bridegroom and Lord will never fade or be taken for granted again. As I prepare for the journey ahead I have this blessed assurance that He will be a constant.  No matter what lies ahead He will have it all under control.

Last week my husband, Greg, and I talked a lot about God's faithfulness and His provisions. Our Heavenly Father is consistently blessing our lives with grace and mercy.  Our conversation began, or should I say revisited, with this being the year of Jubilee, In Deuteronomy 15 we are told, "that at the end of every seven years thou shalt make a release".  Or in other words all debts are to be forgiven.  Wiped clean.  And looking back in history it is crazy what occurred on Elul 29 in 2001 and 2008, This date falls, on the Jewish calendar, the day before rosh hashanah.   The stock market took a devastating dive both times.  And here we are 2015 the "Year of Jubilee".  So, what do we do with this knowledge.  Live in fear of the"what next"?  Absolutely not!  God has it all under control.  He has my life in His hands.  God clearly wants us to be good stewards over our finances.  "Every good and perfect gift comes from God"~James 1:17. As our conversation continued we discussed our options and our discussion delayed our initial decision.  Within a few days the stock market took a hit and we lost a nice chunk of change.  Well this was exactly the push we needed to jump start our next move.  We sat down and prayerfully moved our remaining funds into more secure investments.  After all it would be foolish not to listen to God's direction.

Funny how songs have a way of creeping into our thoughts.  And once again  a song resounds in my head. Anyway the song is called "Awake my soul" by Mumford and Sons. The lyrics that keep playing over and over in my head are; "Where you invest your love, you invest your life." Where am I investing my love "stock"?  God requires me to be 100% invested in Him.  All or nothing.  No fear. No hesitation.  I cannot be invested in the things this world has to offer and invest in God at the same time.  They contradict each other. The world may have moments of high return but that market will inevitably crash.  It certainly is not a secure investment. Heaven, on the other hand, has a much better rate of return.

Why is it so difficult to "drop my net" and invest all of my love in Him and the calling on my life?  Greed, selfish desires, fear, etc...  I have seen His faithfulness in my life.  His hand of provision, even when I doubted Him, has always been abundant.  I know deep in my heart that I am safe in His company.  I pray that as my relationship continues to grow deeper and deeper with Him that my fear, greed and selfishness will take on new form. And that they will be transformed into generosity, selflessness, and assurance.  "To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immorality, He will give eternal life.  But those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.  There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.  For God does not show favoritism." ~ Romans 2: 7-11.   There is a life of glory, honor and assurance of an eternity spent with God that He offers and calls us to seek. God promises eternal life to those who keep on doing good and seek after glory and honor. And through Him and the power of the Holy Spirit we will begin to find and live out the life we were created to live.

I am confident that if we continue to invest our love in His our live will become worthy of His glory.

"Now with God's help I shall become myself" ~ Soren Kierkegaard.

The bells are ringing

The past few mornings I woke up thinking, "Where do I begin this weeks blog?"  It all seems a bit bitter sweet to me.  The "Crazy Love" study has come to an end.   What now?

So much has changed over the past two and a half months.  I started off wanting to see, feel and know of God's crazy.  And in the process I discovered how much I depend upon His love.  And how little I do to earn His unending love and amazing grace.

Last night I was blessed by my sister-in-law, Lisa and her husband Mike.  They invited my husband and me out for a delicious meal. We had some really spectacular conversation.  We talked about our children, our jobs and much more. Life can be overwhelming.  And sometimes we just need an accolade or two to push us in the right direction.  I praise God for a sister-in-law that is direct, honest and willing to share her heart with me.  And, as a result of her words of encouragement, she helped give me direction for this weeks blog post.  Thank you Lisa!

In August of 1992, on the beach in OCMD, I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior.  I was reading a book my Dad had lent me, "Letters from the oth
er side.  A man came up to me and started a conversation.  During that conversation he picked up some sand and started running it through his fingers.  He then took one grain of sand a placed it in the palm of my hand.  And proceeded to tell me that I was that grain of sand.  He then flecked the grain out of my hand and told me that God found me.  Out of all of the grains on that very beach God had his eye on that grain (me).  And no matter how the wind would shift these grains of sand God would always be able to pick me out.  I have to say that is some pretty crazy loving right there.  I love being on the beach.  There is where I have that anniversary feeling with God.  I am not just a grain of sand.  I am the grain. I have been tossed around, placed in a bucket, trampled on, used, and submerged in the ocean.  And all of this has been for His glory.  I am being refined daily.  Wherever the wind decides to that me,  I know He will find me there.

Sometimes God uses situations to reveal to us that He is pursuing us. As you all my know, or my not know, my oldest "inherited" daughter lives in Istanbul.  And in May of 2013 my main man and I visited her in her stomping grounds.  Everyday, five time a day, we would hear bells or "the call for prayer" resounding.  And then over a mega phone a prayer was chanted.  People all over the town would stop in their tracks and pray.  As I watched this occur throughout our visit it ultimately made me think about my faith and relationship with my God.  I remember thinking as I stood in the midst of this "call to prayer", "I call myself a Christian woman and I sever a living God that deserves to be honored and praised, by me, in this very way."  The emotions that poured over me were overwhelming at that time.  I was feeling a bit ashamed.  I claim to sever a God that is crazy in love with me and I didn't think to give Him the time of day.  As our days continued in Istanbul I found myself praying and seeking God's forgiveness for my nonchalant worship of the past. And felt an overwhelming sense of His presence.  Happy Anniversary!  And then we came home and the "bells" stopped ringing. Honeymoon over.

Have you ever made a commitment to someone or something with full intentions of making it work? I am going to use the "diet" analogy here.  There is a great song by Everybodyduck called, Suzie's diet.  If you haven't heard it I suggest you google it.  We wake up and say today is the day!  I am going to start off with cardio and then I am going drink my water.  And the I am going to eat healthy drink a protein shake or two.  Stay away from the pasta and sweets. Yada yada yada... We make a plan and stick to it all day.  We have our "mountain top" moment.  Then, somehow, by 8pm we are on the sofa with a bowl of ice cream or in my case cheese, full fat mind you, and trisciuts. And we beat ourselves up as we lay in bed.  And once again say, "tomorrow, yep I'll start tomorrow."  This pretty much sums up how I pursued God for most of my life.  I would make a plan to seek Him daily and faithfully be in the word. And then get distracted by the things around me. There were no bells to remind me to follow through. I went an entire 6 months not reading any other book, besides the bible, because of a "plan" I tried to commit to.  And after those six months I didn't reach my goal.  And I felt a bit deflated.  So, what's my point in all of this?  I don't want to lose this "mountain top" feeling I have after these ten beautiful weeks.

A few weeks ago I stated that I wanted to love God more faithfully.  And that it would flow naturally.  I don't want to require bells ringing 5 times a day to call me to my knees.  I have been praying that God would give me the heart to seek Him.  And that the Holy Spirit would be upon me as I humbly come before Him.  Psalm 37:4 tells us that if we delight ourselves in the Lord He will give us the desires of our heart.  I find myself thinking more and more about God throughout my day more now than ever.  I wake up and look forward to seeking Him.  My heart is overjoyed.  I am madly in Love with the One who seeks me first.

I Press On

Sorry for the delay this week.  We just spent our final weekend at the chateau.  God has some pretty spectacular plans.

Nine weeks!  Wow, Can you believe it has been nine weeks of us taking this faith journey, discovering God's crazy love for us, together?  I am so blessed to know that I am doing this with each of you.  I am not sure about you but I am finding myself reflecting on what it means to be loved by God. And also what is means to follow Jesus and call myself a Christian.  How and does my life reflect that I am a follower of Christ?  Am I honestly willing to "drop my net"  and faithfully seek God's perfect will in my life.  And do I trust in His provision?

There are a lot of people out the there who have the wrong idea of Christians.  Most people you ask will tell you that Christians think they are perfect.  And that we Christians think we have got it all together.  And I must admit that over the years I have come across a lot of brothers and sisters in Christ that seem quite judgmental (myself included). Instead of showing God's amazing grace, we are too busy striking the rock with our staff (Numbers 20:11).  And as a result, instead of drawing people closer to our relentless God, we push them in another direction.  We don't step back and realize that this is not what God means by fearing Him.  God wants us to show mercy and grace.

My life is the furthest thing from perfect.  I tend to forget that I am supposed to be slow to anger,  quick to listen, and slow to speak. Often I revert back to my selfishness and think, " It's my way or the highway."  I am a follower in the making.  I can fully relate to the Apostle Paul when he wrote to the Philippians," Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on." Even though I mess up in the delivery my ultimate goal is that I want everyone to know how crazy God is about them.

God uses imperfect people to do extraordinary things. I have encountered so many of these extraordinary people.  Some of them family members and some friends.  And even a stranger.  For many years I worked in the wellness field.  And during that time I met a chiropractor who, in my eyes, exemplified what it means to "drop your net".  I had seen him, at the church I had attended, a few times.  And would watch him take notes in his black binder every week.  It was as if he was in a class room.  He gathered his notes week after week.  And a few months later I went to a seminar for work in Princeton NJ.  And guess who was the lead speaker?  The guy who took notes at church.  And after the first session it became evident to me why he was always taking those notes.  This man dropped his net and found the most eloquent way of telling people about the Fruit of the Spirit.  There were little poster boards around the room with each fruit listed.  And here is the kicker.  The room was filled with non-believers that were captivated by his teachings. This disciple didn't strike a rock.  He spoke God's word with love and passion.  I remember coming home after that weekend and telling my husband that I felt like I was at a Christian conference and not a work seminar. I had gone to his office a few times. And blessed to say I went to a few more of these seminars.  One thing I could honestly say he was consistent in his delivery.  And his message was always clear.  Integrity and love.  God gave him a message, in the form of a rotator cuff injury, and said, "drop your net and follow me.  I have great plans."  And that's just what he did.  As a direct result of his obedience many people, in the wellness industry, are learning to show an agape love to a broken world. 

Like I said earlier I have seen many people in my life "drop their nets". Some have even picked them up again out of fear or derailed faith.  Old habits are hard to break. Even though we have the knowledge that God's will is perfect, and when in His will things turn out perfectly, we often hold on to the comfort of the here and now.  Imagine if you knew exactly what He had planned for your future.  And he handed you a guide that laid out, in detail, exactly what, where, and when his will would look like. Scary.  Yep, just plain horrifying.  If He gave me the story of my life, in advance, I might not have stepped out of my room.  I probably would have been a hermit.  God faithfully lays out His plan. And gives me a heart to follow.  It's my faith that determines whether or not I am going in this direction or that direction. I pray that as I seek Him first that my faith will keep me pressing on.

 I often wonder who is watching me from a distance.  And would my walk make them trip up?  When God says, "Kathleen, drop your net and follow me!" Do I run in another direction?  Or do I stand there and play stupid.  "Huh?!?, Are you talking to me? I am sure you meant someone else.  You must be mistaking me for someone more faithful."  God's has a purpose for each of us.  And one day I will no longer be here.  What legacy will I leave?  Will my children remember me as a faithful follower?  Or will they think of me as a derailed woman? I hope they remember me as a woman who loved and trusted in God's plan.  And one who dropped her net and followed Him out of obedience.  

I pray that as we press on this week that our faith will be made stronger.  And that God will continue to be our first priority.  May you feel His crazy love for you in a crazy amazing way.

You fill up my senses

Have you ever felt obsessed about someone or something? Do you find yourself every minute of the day thinking about that one thing or someone?  Are there moments that you would do anything, yes anything and everything, just to be with that person or to have your hands wrapped around that one thing.  Well that is exactly what our relationship with God should be like.  I find myself throughout the day trying to make a conscious effort to seek Him first.  But, I want to get to a place in my heart where I am truly obsessed with God.

God is so generous with His love for me.  He never hesitates to shower me with love.  And has already given me the ultimate gift. Life! And here I am putting my personal safety and comfort above what God may have in-store for my life. The past few months the Lord has been putting something on my heart to do.  And I have been dragging my feet.  There is this fear of "what will people think?" that is swimming around my head.  And at times that is a little crippling.  You see, blogging is a bit of a cop out.  I don't have to see peoples faces or hear what is being said after it is received.  But to have to stand in front of a group of tell them about how God is working in and through my life.  Now that is scary. I know that if I am obedient in His will I will be blessed.  By now you all know that I am part of a "blended" family.  And this is what has been placed on my heart to share with the world.  Or my community.  We live in a world of broken homes, broken lives, and just plain brokenness. And I have been hesitating to share my story.  What a brat.  God gave His one and only Son for my salvation.  And I am hedging on sharing how He blessed my life while putting it in a blender.

Many days I hear this voice inside my head that causes me to think that I am just not good enough or that my story isn't captivating.  Why would God want me to share the craziness of "blending" two very different sets of kids together.  And the more I think the more paralyzed I feel.  Fear grips me.  What will my husband think? And the children.  How will they feel about me sharing our story?  Who will listen to me?  Where will I speak?  How do I begin?  Where do I end?  All these thing prevent me from moving in the direction He is calling me to go.  So now what?  

Faith.  I need to stop in my tracks and hold on to my faith.  You see as long as I continue to seek me and what "I" am afraid of.  I will never be able to glorify God in my life.  He wants me to share His story of how He placed two families into a blender and hit the pulse button.  And He wants to be magnified in and through the story of us.  

Imagine if we did all things to glorify God.  Everything that we did we put Him first. And in turn we begin to be filled with His grace and love.  It reminds me of a song from my childhood.  My mom is a huge John Denver fan and I heard this song daily for many of my childhood years.  And I would always think of my parents and how they conquered their tribulations only to be filled with a deeper love.  But this week as I thought about what it would be like to glorify God these lyrics came to mind. "You fill up my senses, Like a night in a forest. Like the mountains in springtime. Like a walk in the rain. Like a storm in the desert. Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses. Come fill me again. Come let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter. Let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you. Let me always be with you. Come let me love you. Come love me again."  In order for me to be capable of glorifying God.  I need to be filled with His glory.  I have prayed that He would fill my senses with the fragrance of His love.  And that I would feel His abounding love for me as I walk through the valleys and deep forests of this life. To be able to feel His amazing grace to wash over me like rain.  To know deep in my heart that His love for me and forgiveness for me is deeper than any ocean. To be filled so much that His love is overflowing from me on to others.  To give all glory, honor and praise to the One who provides. After-all, it is because of His great love that my "blended" family is what it is today.

I am blessed that I can come before my creator and say, "I love you.  And I want to always be near you."  But what is even more spectacular is that He sings this to my heart every day.  He sings this to all of us.  He desires for us to freely love others the same way that He loves us.  If we are to glorify Him we need to love on everyone.  Not just those people in our lives that are easy to love.  We are called to love the people in our lives that can be difficult to be around.  In Luke 14: 12-14 the Lord calls upon us to open our hearts to those who won't give back or cannot give back.  It is easy to love those who reciprocate with love.  But imagine trying to love someone who couldn't or didn't want to love you in return.  I can share with you that in the very beginning of my marriage, to Greg, my precious inherited daughters had no room in their hearts for me. And more often than not, throughout the first few years of "blending" together, I found myself tearfully on my knees praying for God to give me the grace to show them love.  Unconditional love.  And God would remind me how, in the beginning, I wasn't so worthy of His love.  But He walked beside me through each storm.  And eventually we began to dance in the puddles.

One of the most precious gifts God has given me is a heart that is soft.  I normally want to serve, give and forgive. However, there have been moments in my life that I have lost my cool and allowed resentment to build into multiple layers.  One of those days being yesterday.  I have been the one on the receiving end of forgiveness many times due to my heart growing hard.  It is a very humbling and overwhelming experience.  I praise God for giving me a fresh fill of grace each day. I have learned that forgiving without hearing the offender say, "I am sorry." is freeing.  And as the mom of a "blended" crew I had to daily show love, grace, mercy and forgiveness.  If it wasn't for God's gift I am certain things would be much different today.  We have grown so much over the years.  We have gone from being complete strangers to being a family.

Earlier I stated that I want to to be in a place where my heart is truly obsessed with God.  I believe that I am not far off.  I have a love for my God that causes my heart to skip a beat.  I look forward to my quiet moments with Him.  I long to see His face.  I have great joy in my heart when I come home from work and I see that my dad's bible is sitting on the counter.  I get excited to see what God has for my to feast my eyes and heart on.  And I pray daily that my children, all five of them, and there spouses, friends, children and the generations to follow, will seek to glorify God in this precious gift of life that He has graced them with.  I pray that we as a family will be increasingly filled with a true obsession for God.  I know that we are blessed to have each other. And I pray that as we continue to grow we realize that all the passion, love and gifts we have come from Him. I know that He is continuously working on our hearts.  And that He is doing amazing things through each of us in such a way that He is receiving ALL of the glory.

A Day Late and A Dollar Short

I pray that this week you were blessed abundantly by God's provisions.  And that you were able to inJOY each moment that you dedicated to the One who relentlessly loves you.

My weekend was packed full of blessings.  We celebrated the birthday of our a 3 year old granddaughter and princess.  And then a farewell gathering for our oldest daughter who is heading back to Istanbul later this week.  So my blog post is coming to you a day late and a dollar short.  Well maybe not a dollar short.  But nonetheless I am behind the self inflicted deadline. 

I just wanted to start off this week by saying that God's crazy love for us is absolute.  He lavishes us with love, treasures and so much more.  All that we have belongs to Him.  But when He says, "Drop your net and follow Me." we hesitate.  Our human nature causes us to hold tightly to the "net" and all the treasures we have gathered throughout the years.  We often give little but gather lots.  Neglecting to focus on the reality that we would have nothing of value if it wasn't for His provision.

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to give it all up to follow Him?  It's a bit like marriage.  The groom provides a home for his bride. All she is required to do is "drop her net" and say, "I do".  She leaves the comfort of her parents and family and starts filling her new "net" along side of her groom.  This is basically what Jesus, the groom, is calling us to do.  We can't take our things with us.  He promises us that there will be a bridal shower.  And a wedding feast that is better than any feast we have ever set our eyes and forks on.  His promise is even greater.  Life everlasting.  An eternity filled with endless joy. I have days where I am really looking forward to that feast and that everlasting life.  However, my lack of faith sometime causes me to doubt that the groom, gifts and food will be good enough. And I question the realness of Heaven.  So, I, like a nervous bride, get cold feet.  And I grab hold of the treasures of this world and feast on the mundane offerings and stay in my comfort zone.  But then I begin to question myself once again.  What if the things of this life are really not the important?  What if there is something greater? This is where faith comes in.  In order for me to have a piece in my heart and have no fear.  I have to have faith.  I would rather live a life filled with faith than live with doubt.

What am I doing right now that requires faith?  Well that is a loaded question.  Daily I know that I have to walk in faith.  I have days that I would much rather stay in bed and not have to be concerned with the world around me.  You know what I mean.  Just to be the girl in the bubble.  Nothing going out nothing coming in.  But this is not reality.  I am consistently learning to lean on God.  Each step throughout the course of my day in a step in faith.  Over my lifetime I have learned that once I surrender it all to Him is get easier.  And probably the greatest faith moments were the storms.  Some were sun showers and others devastating hurricanes. Falling off a bike, stitches, broken bones, pregnancies, loss of pregnancies marriage, divorce, moving, remarriage, blending families, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, children moving away, children cutting you off, loss of a friend, etc....  In all of these storms I felt God's presence grow deeper and deeper in my life.  And when the clouds started to part a rainbow appeared.  A beautiful sign of God promise, "I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sigh of the covenant between me and the earth.". Because of my faith he has restored my life.  He has blessed me with a growing family, and an abundance of friends, and a life that I am not worthy of.  And I know, because of faith, that there are even greater things to come.

God has absolutely blessed my life.  And I think how do I magnify Him in all these blessings? The treasure of people that He has placed before me is outstanding.  Last week at church the visiting pastor talked about the triangle of God, us and others.  And as I reflected on this concept over the past week. It lead me to ask myself, "When I interact with the people around me would I be able to characterize my love as sacrificial love?".   How does my life reflect that God is in control?  When we allow ourselves to be filled with God's love it should be natural for us to blanket others with that love.  And in turn we lead other to a life of faith and understand of God's amazing grace and crazy love.  And then in turn they too will pay it forward so to speak.  And hallelujah He is exalted. I have to tell you that I am not always the perfect reflection of His love.  I am working on that whole, "Love your neighbor as yourself" concept.  Normally I don't have a problem.  But when someone come along that is just really difficult to love, well, let's just say I trip over the difficulty.  We have a neighbor at the beach that fit's this "difficult the love" profile.  Last year my husband and I arrived for a nice weekend away.  We pulled up to our chateau and there was a car parked on our lot.  Well we stepped out of the car.  And I was the lucky one who stepped into dog poop.  And it wasn't from our dog.  I was, to say the least, ticked.  I held my tongue.  That time.  The following week we went down again and this time his dog was tied to our deck and the dog's bowls were on the deck.  And more poop.  I flipped my lid.  I went in the trailer and grabbed a few paper plated and did the passive aggressive thing.  I started flicking the poop onto his yard.  My husband shook his head.  And told me to go inside.  Well, every single time we go, still to this day, our neighbor still continues in his rudeness.  He has taken rude to a whole other level.  I may be laughing at the paper plate event.  But I am really feeling a bit embarrassed. I failed to show this guy God's love.  God never flicks my mess back in my yard.  He sent His one and only Son to be my personal pooper scooper.  Christ keeps my yard looking pretty sweet.  And here I am neglecting to do the one thing required.  "Love my neighbor".  I know that I have to change my heart toward my neighbor.  Through pray and practice I know it will happen.  I just need to keep my eyes on Christ and learn by His example.

Over this next week let's practice letting our love for and from God overflow to others.  So, when we feel like flinging the poop back on their yard, let's instead grab a bag and help clean it up.  And I pray that if our neighbor needs our help we are willing to loosen our grip on our net and give them what they need.