This past week, each morning before my feet hit the floor, I have been praying that the Lord would show me where I am failing in my journey as a P31 woman. I knew that I was asking Him to reveal to me some very grey and dark areas in my heart and in my actions. So, in turn, I laid my request for Him to strengthen me with a fresh fill of grace and dignity.
Monday morning I woke up, had a little conversation with my heavenly Father, and was feeling lead to read Titus 2. As I sat at the table, feasting on these words, my heart dropped. I came to the realization that I had areas in my life that needed to change. I had this bad routine or habit that had developed over the years. I’d wake up in the morning, grab my husbands hand, pray for my household , shower, feast on a fill of God's word, sip on a fresh brewed cup of coffee, check out the latest and greatest on the Internet, straighten up the mess that was left behind from the night before, feed the pets, pack some lunch, wake up whoever needed to be alive, leave for work. Then I'd come home from work, walk in the door, kiss my husband hello, say hello to anyone else seated in the living space, and run to the bedroom to change into my pj’s , then back to the kitchen, start dinner (P31 duties) and now for the habit……grab a wine glass or two (misery loves company) and the bottle and head to the sofa a.k.a. couch and pour. This all started with a small glass every night. And gradually became a sharing of a bottle. To most people this is no big deal. But for my kids it was a huge deal. They began making excuses like, “Mom is still depressed about Grandpop’s graduating into heaven.” And maybe that held a little truth. But it was a very poor excuse and even worse example. I am a kid of the King. What is my deal?
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God” ~Titus 2: 3-5
As my week progressed, I continued to pray that God would keep me accountable. I knew that I wasn’t capable of doing it on my own. Life around me was still the same. The stresses of work, home and every day weren’t going anywhere. It is God’s grace that would and will help break any and all of my bad habits. “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.” ~ Titus 2: 11-14
So, here I sit on this Saturday morning still hungry for His grace and dignity, I am filled with the knowledge that I must always strive to not only be that P31 woman; but that I must also develop the Titus 2 traits as well. I have one fantastic husband, four wonderful daughters, one spectacular son, a terrific son-in-law, one absolutely beautiful granddaughter , a courageous mom, two beautiful sisters, a loving brother, eight gorgeous nieces, three smart nephews, one sensational great-niece, a multitude of accepting in-laws and an abundance of inherited family. I want to be a blessing to each them as they are a tremendous blessing to me.