Kathleen, Kathleen you are worried and troubled about many things.........
The kitchen project is well underway. The old kitchen has been demolished and now we are preparing the space for the new and improved version. The past few nights I found myself waking up with my head spinning. My thoughts were focused how there is still so much to do. We are going over way budge. There is dust everywhere. What and how am I going to prepare for meals over the next few weeks. Is my second floor going to fall into the first? What if this is all a big mistake? Did we make a wise choice with the appliances. And the cabinets..... are they going to be too dark? How am I going to clean the dishes? The powder-room sink is so small. And isn't it gross to wash dishes in there? Oh my goodness I still have to figure out the back splash. And how many knobs and pulls do I need? As I laid in bed my head just spiraled out of control. I think I needed a larger plate. Something like a serving platter would have worked. Because my plate was overflowing with the garbage I had chosen to feast on the past few nights.
This morning I realized that I had been awake yesterday for over 25 hours. I woke up yesterday morning at 3 a.m. and finally went to bed at 4 a.m. this morning. This was perhaps the reason for some of my stinkin thinkin. I have to say that, after 6 solid hours of sleep, I am feeling better. I "overslept" and missed church. However, my perspective seems to be much clearer. Who am I to be worried about a project that I have been so prayerful about. I realize that this dusty, disarrayed, disaster zone house is just a temporal phase.
After stepping back, and taking it all in, I realize just how truly blessed I am. I am getting a new kitchen. This "Martha" is going to get to be a part of the fun. I will get to enjoy the silly moments and growing moments that are currently going on beyond the walls. I may even get to experience more of the "Mary" in me. I am less worried about the budget and more excited about the valuable treasure of memories that will be created in this family friendly kitchen. Less concerned about the dust falling and smiling big when I think of the mess that will happen at the prep station in the kitchen. We may have to eat crock pot meals, frozen dinners and take away for the next few weeks. But, this too is temporary. Many feasts and experimental meals will be created in due time. And the beam, that has replaced the wall that once was a barrier, is sturdy. And since the beam has been placed our sliding closet door, on the second floor, opens smoother than it ever has since we lived in this house. The appliances and cabinets are going to be beautiful in this wonderfully designed kitchen.
This whole process has been a lesson in faith. I am learning that even when the Martha in me is so busy with sorting through the garbage, that I don't see God's blessings, He is still faithful. I am getting a new kitchen!!! And God has provided the funds, the resources, and the wonderful crew that is working so diligently to make this happen. So, it is time for me to sit back, or at His feet, relax and enjoy the process.