Sunday, February 27, 2011

That's not what I planned.......

Life is filled with disappointments! Little and big.  No matter how great or small, disappointments can be hard.  There are some days that feel like I am in one big storm of disappointments. I brace myself to get drenched by the multitude of mishaps and discouraging events. And I find it hard to see the sun behind the clouds. 

I believe that when we are in the midst of this "storm of disappointment", we should to turn our face and look to God for light.  In Matthew 6:25-27 God tells us to not worry about our life.  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?".  You see, God can be our umbrella or our raincoat.  I prefer to be wrapping in his amazing love!

I woke up yesterday thinking that the day was going to be all about me.  Bedrooms would be clean, no arguing, and happy birthday songs all day long.  Wow did I set myself up or what. Don't get me wrong.  I had a beautiful day.  I had my morning with my loving husband.  We talked about me turning "21".  And he made me a fabulous birthday breakfast.  My son hung out with me for a few hours.  And then three of my daughters were here to say Happy B-day.  My youngest daughter and I went to the mall and had wonderful quality time together.  On the way home I decided we would have a quiet evening at home. Watch some movies and eat some yummy home cooked meal.  I called home, and let me tell you, the plan changed.  I would spend some quality time with my oldest biological the emergency room. God really is  good.  I am not fond of hospitals.  I was flooded with emotion.  But the outcome was good.  My 23year old babe was able to breath again.  And we went home after a few hours. Bedrooms were NOT clean, there was plenty of arguing, and we didn't have a home cooked meal.  But I was blessed. I had quality time with some of the most important gifts in my life. 

Sometimes it can be fun to dance in the rain.  Especially wrapped in your "raincoat" to keep your heart warm. Even in the wildest of storms the sun will eventually shine. When we put our trust in Him, we will not be disappointed. HOPE!!! God is truly faithful.  "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." Romans 5:5

Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Different Way to Celebrate........

One of my beautiful daughters turned 20 yesterday.  She put herself on the "back burner" so that the family could celebrate my Dad, her Grandpop, going to Heaven.  She is most certainly carrying on his legacy.  Just like her Grandpop, she puts herself last.  I have to say I am blessed. 

My sister put together a beautiful video for my Dad.  And in the process of gathering photo's for his memorial, I saw a ton of the birthday girl's "Kodak moment" pictures.  She still has the same smile.  I wish she would smile more often. There is one photo that makes me laugh everytime I see it.  She had a sweater that had a teddy bear on the front.  She didn't like the bear.  So, everytime she wore the sweater, she wore it backwards.  She figured if she didn't have to see it than it would be fine to wear it her way. Not only did she wear the sweater backwards, she completed the outfit with moon boots and stockings.  NO pants, NO shorts, No skirt. A style all her own.  Oh I forgot to mention, this was a summer outfit for her.

My mom would always have the camera ready.  You never knew what this character would be walking down the steps wearing.

Today we will celebrate her moving out of the teen years and into her second decade.  Her heart is broken and she is full of sorrow.  She misses her Grandpop a lot!  And this will be her first birthday dinner without her hero.  I pray that she will seek God this new year.  And know that He will be her comfort and her strength.  So, a different way to celebrate. New traditions will be formed.  And life will continue to move forward. And we will still rejoice in this great life. We may have a little sadness in our hearts.  But "this is the day that the Lord has made.  We WILL rejoice and be GLAD in it," ~Psalm 118:24  And I am Happy for her Birth! So, HAPPY Birthday to my beautiful 20 year old daughter.

Proverbs 4: 20-22
My child pay attention to what I say.  Listen carefully to my words.  Don't lose sight of them.  Let them penetrate deep into your heart,  for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Super Hero

Today we celebrated my super hero, my Dad.  What a blessing!  I can't even begin to tell you just how beautiful this day was.  It was a day of remembering.  I was so blessed to have this incredible man in my life! And I am so thankful that I got to call him DAD!!!

 I wrote a poem that tells a bit about who and what he was to his adoring crew..............ENJOY.................

                                                     SUPER HERO

I would love to share a story about a really spectacular man
I think I’d tell it best because I’m a pretty long time fan
There’s so much to tell you, to keep it short I’ll try
I may need to pause for grace, as surely I will cry
May 14th, 1936, the world was beautifully changed
Joseph Marion Mallon was born and lives were rearranged
Oldest brother to his five siblings, all raised on Loring Street
The neighbors would kindly say , “That Joey was pretty neat.”
He was born to seek adventure and had a zest for life
This zest and his blue eyes captured Maria for a wife
His heart for his precious side kick was such a gift to see
She was his beautiful sweetie and he loved her adoringly
They had themselves an army 3 girls and 2 strong boys
Joseph raised his family with love and shared in each ones joys
He never had a favorite child for each would put him through the test
He showed them grace and made each feel they were the very best
As years went by each child grew and started their journey in life
The girls have loving husbands and each son a beautiful wife.
Joseph’s family continued to grow as did his loving heart
With each addition to the crew, he’d share his wisdom from the start.
He taught them lessons every day sometimes without them knowing
History, politics and art and how in God’s grace they were growing.
Each day he would rise and gaze upon a sky so fresh and new
There were so many trials that the Lord would guide him through.
And as the day would come to an end you could find him at God’s feet
Seeking Abba Father and digesting God’s word so sweet
All hero’s need to break for fuel like soft pretzels, cheese and crackers
He was proud to share each morsel with his precious little snacker’s
If you told him you were hungry he might make his specialty
Ramen soup with lots of stuff and love was added free.
Everyone who met him felt more like family than a friend
Joseph never lost his zest for life not even in the end
He ran the race and in the end he asked, “Who won the game?”
“We did, we did praise the Lord”, his crew would all exclaim
God has a plan for each of us, and will one day call us home
His promise is to never harm us or leave us standing alone.
So with his family all around he kissed the world good bye.
Hearts were broken and tears would fall as they did question why
This Super hero wasn’t able to stay here on this earth sick
So Lord did call him home as He laid the final brick.
For all the years I knew this man I’m so honored and glad
You see this super hero was my wonderful loving Dad
“A life lived with integrity-even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune, is a shining star in whose light others may follow in the years to come.” Denis Waitley

My thoughts and words seem so empty and scattered. A big piece of my life feels broken and shattered. I wake up and I'm still in my dream.  I'm falling apart at every seem.  But I feel the grace from Heaven above.  And remember that God showed me much love. I could never describe this overwhelming  pain. So I draw strength in knowing I will see Dad again.  The legacy Dad left will shine in his crew. God's is so faithful and his promises are true.  Now in my brokeness to my God I will pray. It is by His GRACE alone that I will get through each day. 
"By the grace of God, I am what I am." ~1Cor.15:10

Friday, February 11, 2011

Everything happens for a reason

My Husband and I were scheduled to go on a 7 day cruise. And we decided to shorten our adventure by a few days and do a 4 night cruise instead. Our oldest was planning on coming home, from her job in Turkey, for a visit and she would have been home the week we would have been away. So, it was only right to change plans and be home to see her.

Well, we got back into port and received a message from our third in rank. Our oldest wasn't coming home. She needed to stay in Turkey because of her job. There was a little bit of disappointment floating around. And each of the kids had their own thoughts and feelings. The girls seemed to be the most ruffled by this change in plan. Our third is getting married in 8 months. And she had made plans to go look at "maid-of-honor" dresses when her sister was home. So she was really the most hurt and sad by the change of plans. And the second and forth in rank are just wanting to support and love her through this alteration. And the youngest, his role is the voice of reason. I know they all really love each other. And in a few days this ruffle will be a little less wrinkled.

It is often difficult to understand why things happen the way that they do. But ultimately God is in control. The past few weeks have been full of disappointments. Some of those disappointments have left my heart feeling very bruised. And others have brought light and growth.

In Jeremiah 29: 11 God tells each of us of His ultimate plan. " For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" WOW!!!

God is so faithful. I am sad that our oldest won't be home this week. And my heart hurts for our third oldest. But I find comfort in knowing that God is in control. He has a plan for all of our lives. In a few months everything will be revealed. The wedding will be most beautiful! And hearts will be restored.

On our "change of plans" cruise GOD had a sweet plan for us! We met two fabulous couples. I have to say I was totally blessed by each one of these individuals. Table conversations were fun. We talked about God's love and plan. It really was a great time!

Without even realizing it I was being blessed in so many ways. God was placing His healing hand on my physical health and emotional health. There were a million things that made me think of my Dad. There was a man on board that resembled my Dad. And each time I looked at the clouds I thought of him. I miss him so much. But I realized that I was able to smile through the tears as I thought of him. And that was God's grace. My heart hurt for my mom each time I saw a couple celebrating an anniversary. But again, I found myself smiling through the tears. God's grace again!

God is faithful. I just have to sit back relax and enjoy the ride (while sitting in the center of His palm)! On my own I could be bitter, angry, sad, broken, unable to trust and jealous. But, I am not on my own. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Psalm 3:5.

I would like to say that God has total control of my life. But, there is the huge part of me that is human (the whole part). I am daily trying to surrender my ugly human nature. And daily attempting to live my life according to His ultimate plan. Our God is perfect and so is His will for my life! He knows what is best......Father knows best! I just need to trust Him with everything. The good things, the bad things and all things in between. And know that I can glorify Him in how I react to everything that comes my way. Family, work, fellowship, and more. I need to surrender it all to Him.

"All to Jesus I surrender; All to Him I freely give; I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live. I surrender all, I surrender all; All to Thee, my blessed Savior,I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender; Humbly at His feet I bow, Worldly pleasures all forsaken;Take me, Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus I surrender; Make me, Savior, wholly Thine; Let me feel the Holy Spirit,Truly know that Thou art mine.
All to Jesus I surrender; Lord, I give myself to Thee; Fill me with Thy love and power; Let Thy blessing fall on me.
All to Jesus I surrender; Now I feel the sacred flame. Oh, the joy of full salvation!Glory, glory, to His Name! I surrender all, I surrender all; All to Thee, my blessed Savior,I surrender all."
~ Judson W. Van DeVenter