Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wishing....and praying......sitting in the center and trying not to dangle off the edge....

My Dad is scheduled for 12pm for surgery today. The surgery will be a "go ahead" as long as his white blood cell count comes down. The Doctor said that there were 3 bacteria they could identify floating around inside him. Please God give him the strength that he needs to get through it.

A few months ago my Dad began his quest for a healthier life.  He started eating better and losing a few pounds.  He was looking pretty good. In the beginning there was nothing too alarming.  They came to my house every Sunday for dinner.  Occasionally missing a week because of dads' politcal agenda. He began to complain of stomach pain about five months ago.  Again there was no need to be alarmed.  He went to the doctor and they felt everything was fine.  As the months went by Daddy continued to lose weight.  But we started to all get alarmed when he began to lose what appeared to us  5lbs each week.  By Thanksgiving he was no longer looking healthy.  He assured us that all was good.  His doctors were "on top of things".  December came and he got very sick.  His heart was tired and working overtime.  We begged him to go to the emergency room. Ten days ago his Doctor sent him for a CATscan.  It took what they discovered on this CATscan to send him to the ER at Abington hospital.  And here we are today.  CANCER.......Spleen, Stomach, Pancreas, Colon and list list could go on.

 The past ten days have been really difficult and uncertain. We have had moments of tears and moments of laughter. My Dad is the strongest man I know!! He is my true super hero. He is the one who showed me who God was.  And he is a great example of what love truly is about. Everyone who meets him will tell you that he made them feel unique and embraced by him. I know that he has the ability to kick this cancer in the butt. He just needs strength.
 I know that with God ALL things are possible. And I also understand that sometimes His will is not mine. So, I am praying, for my mom, sisters ,brothers, nieces, nephews, husband, kids, and all who have been touched by this great man, that we are willing to accept God's will for Dad's life and destiny.

 Suffering can at times leave us all feeling hopeless. And at another moment give us a greater hope. Let's focus on God's mighty hand. We are all in need of learning to be steadfast and determined. Suffering is a character producer. And my crazy family is full of characters. The strength of our character is being refined. We need to trust in God and His glorious plan for the future. Have HOPE!

The waves are abundant and it is hard to BE STILL.  I need peace in my heart.

Today may be the day my Dad goes to be with his Heavenly Father.  It is going to be a hard day to get through.  But I know that God is faithful.  And He will have his hand on the pulse of today and the outcome.  So, at this very moment I am sitting "indian style" in the center of the palm of His hand.  My heart beats stronger and faster as the clock progresses toward 12pm.  But, I know that God will protect me as the day unfolds.

James 1:2-7. Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I am sitting here thinking about how I always seem to want the easier life. I admit I don't want to suffer, & I really don't like when things go wrong. I know that God will help me have a good attitude and enable me to trust Him to bring good out of it all.

There are so many trials we have to go through.  And with each trial there is a victory.  I am so blessed with the knowledge that my God is my umbrella.  He has protected me from so much.  And has allowed me to get drenched when necessary.