Time flies! I am a little more than halfway through my 40 day commitment to seek God first every day. And I have to admit it’s been on a bit of a roller coaster ride. I thought this was going to be easy and without obstacles. However, there are plenty of curls, twirls and curves.
My first week was a pretty smooth ride. I woke up each morning and spent time reading my bible and had given myself ample time for devotions too. I felt like God and I were getting some much needed alone time. I spent more time seeking Him and less time scrolling through social media. I even had days of not browsing through my Facebook and Instagram accounts. And that my friends is a miraculous thing. Especially since it has become a daily ritual. A ritual that I know needs to change.
Week two I felt like I was still making progress. However, the devotional I chose to guide me through these 40 day seemed to be leaving me a little flat. The Holy Spirit was pulling me to go deeper. My five minute devotional is good but it wasn't enough. So deeper I decided to go. I woke up a little earlier each morning and quietly laid at my Lord's feet. "Be still, an know that I am God". ~Psalm 46:10. This verse has taken on a whole new meaning. I use to feel that this "stillness" was just a physical thing. But I’ve come to understand that it is also a mental and spiritual thing. My mind is prone to wander when I am physically being still. I had to learn to capture my thoughts and bring them before God. And in the process I also needed to step back, be still, and allow God to show me What He was laying out before me. Descovering the beauty in stillness of the body, mind and spirit this my sweet friends is still a sweet work in progress. There are still distractions, expectations and life in motion.
Here I am in the midst of week four. And I have to be honest. I have been struggling a little. We are on vacation. And I know that shouldn't be an excuse. But it's the best excuse I have for this moment. It's crazy the things we allow ourselves to do to fill the time. "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice" ~Proverb 12:15 I found myself playing silly, mind numbing games on my phone Sunday morning at 5 a.m. My husband was asleep and I was awake. And instead of doing what I had planned, reading Romans 1, I started browsing social media. Which lead to me playing a game on my phone. (Bad habits are hard to break.) An advertisement came up for another game that looked interesting. So, I did what any fool would do.... downloaded it. Throughout the day I found myself reaching for my phone. I wanted to play another round and rack up those points. The game was pulling me deeper and deeper. I could barely hear and/or see what was going on around me. My husband would say something and I would just nod my head. At times I am pretty certain I didn’t hear anything he said. I just agreed.
Just like my desire to download another mind numbing game onto my phone I believe we all have the potential for downloading the unnecessary things of this world. We are all prone to allow our minds to wander. The world is full of distractions and the next best “things”. Like most, when I find myself caught up in the distractions, I play the “blame” game. I should point out that I played it just a few paragraphs up. “However, the devotional I chose to guide me through these 40 day seemed to be leaving me a little flat.” and "I am on vacation". Yep, it’s that devotional leaving me feeling flat. And vacation will get you every time. Couldn’t possibly have anything to do with me. Perhaps it’s that the devotional, I inadvertently came across while search for books to read on vacation, was making me dig deep into an area of my heart that I wasn’t ready to address. Like "where am I", "what's holding me back", "am I willing to seek God", and much much more.
Funny thing is I am sitting here in the quiet of this Wednesday morning and the reality is that in order for me to allow the Holy Spirit to move in my life I have to be STILL and have a heart willing to dig deeper into the areas of my life that need to be redesigned. I am a Christian woman and as a representative of Christ I question if my life reflects His grace and message of love? Am I set apart (Romans 1:1) Do I draw others into a life of hope? Or does my life reflect the unnecessary mind numbing downloaded games of the world. I pray that the Holy Spirit would help me focus. As I closed my eyes I ask that God would fill my head and heart. I truly do desire that my “downloads” would be glorifying to God. I pray that as I continue to seek God and grow deeper in my relationship with Him that I would have the courage to remove the applications in my life that bring about the unnecessary curls, twirls, curves and distractions.
Here I am in the midst of week four. And I have to be honest. I have been struggling a little. We are on vacation. And I know that shouldn't be an excuse. But it's the best excuse I have for this moment. It's crazy the things we allow ourselves to do to fill the time. "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice" ~Proverb 12:15 I found myself playing silly, mind numbing games on my phone Sunday morning at 5 a.m. My husband was asleep and I was awake. And instead of doing what I had planned, reading Romans 1, I started browsing social media. Which lead to me playing a game on my phone. (Bad habits are hard to break.) An advertisement came up for another game that looked interesting. So, I did what any fool would do.... downloaded it. Throughout the day I found myself reaching for my phone. I wanted to play another round and rack up those points. The game was pulling me deeper and deeper. I could barely hear and/or see what was going on around me. My husband would say something and I would just nod my head. At times I am pretty certain I didn’t hear anything he said. I just agreed.
Just like my desire to download another mind numbing game onto my phone I believe we all have the potential for downloading the unnecessary things of this world. We are all prone to allow our minds to wander. The world is full of distractions and the next best “things”. Like most, when I find myself caught up in the distractions, I play the “blame” game. I should point out that I played it just a few paragraphs up. “However, the devotional I chose to guide me through these 40 day seemed to be leaving me a little flat.” and "I am on vacation". Yep, it’s that devotional leaving me feeling flat. And vacation will get you every time. Couldn’t possibly have anything to do with me. Perhaps it’s that the devotional, I inadvertently came across while search for books to read on vacation, was making me dig deep into an area of my heart that I wasn’t ready to address. Like "where am I", "what's holding me back", "am I willing to seek God", and much much more.
Funny thing is I am sitting here in the quiet of this Wednesday morning and the reality is that in order for me to allow the Holy Spirit to move in my life I have to be STILL and have a heart willing to dig deeper into the areas of my life that need to be redesigned. I am a Christian woman and as a representative of Christ I question if my life reflects His grace and message of love? Am I set apart (Romans 1:1) Do I draw others into a life of hope? Or does my life reflect the unnecessary mind numbing downloaded games of the world. I pray that the Holy Spirit would help me focus. As I closed my eyes I ask that God would fill my head and heart. I truly do desire that my “downloads” would be glorifying to God. I pray that as I continue to seek God and grow deeper in my relationship with Him that I would have the courage to remove the applications in my life that bring about the unnecessary curls, twirls, curves and distractions.
