Wow....Who am I

Wow!!  I hope you all had a blessed week and enjoyed the first chapter of "Crazy Love". I don't know about you.  But this past week really made think about my relationship with the one who created me.  I discovered that what I thought was prayer was more like my shallow attempt in getting the desires, and silly wants, of my heart granted.  I had been treating God more like a Genie in a bottle.  He deserves much more than a little rub every once in a while. God is holy, eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful, just and fair.  He is worthy to be praised!!!

My question for you is this, "How would you describe your prayer life?"  If I had to describe my prayer life to you, prior to this past week, I would have to say that it was almost always on my terms.  Instead of being slow to speak and quick to listen I had this habit of being so busy speaking at God.  Every morning I would wake up and rattle off my requests.   And I ended my day pretty much the same way.  I seemed to pride myself on the fact that I prayed for the person I liked the least first every morning and last every day. It was a routine.  Don't get me wrong.  I believe God loves when we lay our burdens at His feet.  He tells us in scripture to cast of of our care upon Him.  But He also tells us that He doesn't want us to just pray repetitive and empty prayers.

Over the course of this week I found myself reading Ecclesiastes 5: 1-2. "Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.  Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few." I found myself reflecting on Gods glory instead of speaking at Him.  Wow, who am I?  I am just a speck on an speck on a speck. He knows every intricate detail about me. And  yet He still loves and seeks me every day.  He knows my requests even before I come to His feet. Solomon's words made me stop and realize that praying isn't something to take lightly.  It is a privilege.

"Guard your steps when you go to the house of God."  When we come before the Lord we are on holy ground.  We are coming into the presence of the Holy One. The great I Am.

"Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong."  Have you ever said, "Lord if you make this happen I will do this for you."  The sacrifice of a fool.  I am guilty as charged. I remember when my kids were young and I would be driving them to school.  There was this one light that seemed to take forever.  We would be getting close and I would pray, out loud, "Father, God, please allow this light to stay green so that we can get through it."  One of those trips to school my son reminded me that we are not supposed to tell God what to do. I was a fool that did not know that I was doing wrong.

"Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few." I am a woman.  I am pretty sure I have been talking since birth.  I enjoy talking.  I tend to talk a lot.  I can be quite the wordy one.  But God deserves my silence.  He truly wants me to be in awe of His glory.  To speak less and to bask in His grace and presence.

Remember last week when I asked you what you thought your first words would be if you were face to face with God?  What would you say?  Would you be able to speak?  After reading Isaiah's and John's accounts of being face to face with God I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to speak.  I was overwhelmed.  I actually had to read both accounts multiple times.  If you haven't taken the time to read them I encourage you to read Revelation 4 right now .  When you are reading this passage try to imagine you are standing in John's shoe.  Close your eyes and try to take it all in.  I don't think I will ever look at a God the same way ever again.  I have been reflecting on this throughout the day when I go before God.  God is the creator of the stars that we gaze upon, the oceans that only come as far as He orchestrates.  He has hand crafted every aspect of the universe we dwell in.  This is the God we come before each time we pray. I know that I need to focus every moment on this awesome privilege

As we head into the next chapter I want you to think about how you make an impact on the world around you.  What does being a christian mean to you? What prevents you from doing great things that can glorify God? Make a list of the things you find that distract you this week (good and bad).  Read James 4: 13-17 and meditate on that passage for a while.  What are you being called to do?

I pray that moving forward we will sit and wait to hear God speak first. And that we consider that we are in the presence of the the Holy one and stand in His glory.  And that we are cognizant of how praying is a beautiful privilege.  Take some time to cast crowns and sing Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty.  He alone is worthy of our praise.  Have a blessed week.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean. A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling. Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am. I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean. A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours.

Not because of who I am But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean. A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours  ~Casting Crowns

Defining Love...And the Journey Begins

And the journey begins.....

Love.  How does your life characterize love? Before diving into chapter one of "Crazy Love" I wanted to take time to reflect on what love means to me. How did I, do I and will I define love after this journey with each of you?

We have all had a concept of what love is.  But do we truly understand what love looks like? As a young child I would often hear "God is love" And as the years went by I took that statement for granted.  And God's love was put on a shelf and I allowed Him to gather dust.  I started a journey, on my own, to discover and create my own definition of the characteristics of "love".  I have to say I did some awful things and called it "love".  All of the things that I called "love" were self gratifying, self seeking and self indulgent.  I might have twisted things to make it appear that I was being selfless.  But, all the while, I was seeking things that made me feel good.  And if it started to not feel good anymore I took another avenue to find "love".

Tomorrow my boyfriend, a.k.a. husband, and I will celebrate the anniversary of our wedding.  I remember this day like it was just yesterday.  There were a multitude of emotions running rapid.  We were not only marrying each other.  We were blending two very unique families together.  And each one of us had our own expectations.  The five kids were feeling nervous, confused, overwhelmed and guarded.  And I am pretty certain that Greg and I were feeling a bit overwhelmed too.  We were all about to take a journey.  It was evident that we would all have to sacrifice a bit and learn to love each other.  And this would take time, patients and a ton of energy.

I remember one day, a few years back, I had this profound moment.  It was time for me to take God off the shelf and dust Him off.  I realized, early on in my marriage, that I needed all the love He was willing to shower on me. God clearly wanted me to understand unconditional love.

I was given three children to love and learn from since the moment of their conception.  And through marriage He blessed me with the gift of two inherited daughters.  Initially I thought this was going to be a "piece of cake".  But it turned out to be more like climbing an ice covered hill.  Don't get me wrong.  We certainly have made lots of progress.  And as the seasons of our live changed, and by God's amazing grace, that hill melted and beautiful things began to happen.  These two young women taught me that to truly love someone you need to persevere. This statement is true of God's relentless love for us.  We are His inherited children. And I praise Him for allowing me to be filled with His grace.  And through my faith and trust in Him I have learned, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to love my family in a not so self gratifying way. But instead to be more like Him and love my family in a selfless way. ,Because God is Love!

In the past 2 weeks, while continuing with the #loveletters "homework" from Pastor Ross, I tripped over 1 John 4:16, several times. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him". Over the next week, as you read the first chapter of "Crazy Love", I encourage you to seek God's definition of love that speaks to you .  Find 6 "love" verses in scripture and write them down.  Tape them on a wall, a coffee mugs, a chip bag or a mirror.  Just make sure they are in places you look at on a daily basis. I myself plan on jotting this one down,(as it truly is the verse that helped me in learning to love my family on another level)  1 Corinthians 13: 4-8; " Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."

Pretty powerful verse.  I have often taken "love" out and replace it with my name.  And honestly it has, on more than one occasion, saved me from seeking my definition of love.  Kathleen is patient, Kathleen is kind.  She does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud.  She does not dishonor others, she is not self seeking, she is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs.  Kathleen does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  She always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Kathleen never fails. Hmm, I can only pray that this statement would one day be absurdly accurate about me. However, for now I will just continue to use it as a guide for loving on a daily basis.

I pray that the Holy Spirit  will work on our hearts.  And that God will strengthen us to comprehend His relentless love.  And that He would give us the ability to encourage and build each other up in the coming months. May God's love begin to change our lives and direct us to love the way He first loved us.

Here is the assignment for this week.  Read chapter one of "Crazy Love" by Frances Chan.  And keep in mind these questions:
       1) What do you think would come out of your mouth the moment you first saw God? What would you say? Would you be able to speak?
       2)How would you like your "love" life to be changed?

 I pray that your relationship with God is abundantly changed over the course of this week!

A Journey....Seeking God's amazing love

Well hello my beautiful Sisters,

I decided to write you a love letter this week.  I know that life can get out of control and we are all super busy with our families, jobs and daily lives.  But are we too busy to take 30 minutes to a hour out of our day to seek God's amazing love.

Last Sunday my pastor gave us some homework to do everyday for the next month.  We are to read 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John a chapter each day.  And in the process discovering how great the Father's love is for us.  I am now one week into this challenge and I am overwhelmed by His grace, love and willingness to forgive me a wretch.

I am praying that each one of my sisters, a.k.a beautiful women in my life, would consider joining me on a quest to deeply understand the love that our creator has for us.

A few years ago I read a book called "Crazy Love" by Frances Chan.  I remember feeling overwhelmed and blessed.  I have been praying for a few weeks about starting a bible study with a group of women.  However, like I said earlier life is busy.  Schedules are full and travel is often too difficult.  So, why not have a blog study?  Over the course of this week I encourage you to download this book on your Kindle, Nook or get the paper version. There are ten chapters in total.  We can start this week by lifting each other in prayer and preparing our hearts to be overwhelmed by a relentless God.  Feel free to "subscribe" to this blog, leave a comment, or just observe.  I would like to start reading the book together a chapter each week beginning this Saturday 6/20.  I would love to share this journey and how God is moving in my life with each of you.  And I hope that you too will share how God's crazy love is transforming your life too.

Much love,

Your sister-in-Christ, Kathleen

PS: Let me know if you plan on taking the journey.