God has been so faithful. He has blessed our lives richly. And our faith journeys have been full of peaks and valleys. Life is crazy and often spirals out of control. God rejoices with us in the high places and celebrates the beautiful times. Unfortunately, I find that in my faith journey I am the one who isn't always present in those peak moments. I tend to forget how much I depend on His mercy and His grace. Occasionally I have an attitude of " I only need Him when I want Him". Then there are moments of great sadness and pain. Trials and tribulation or valleys. When I am in those valleys of great sadness and pain I feel compelled to run to Him and seek Him. I know that God is guiding me. He leads the way and protects me. He is always there.
Funny how our children learn from our bad and good examples...
Over the past few months my youngest child has had more than his fair share of valley moments. And as a mom it was difficult for me to hear of his tribulations. But I knew that God was doing something big in this young man's heart. Christian needed to be in the valley to reconnect with the one who calms the seas. My son has always had a precious calling on his life. From the time he was little I could see that the Lord was pulling him into the direction of being a servant, counselor, confidante, and friend. We often referred to him as "Pastor Christian" because of his ability to direct us to scripture in difficult situations. He was a wise little man and loved the Lord. I was certain that one day this boy was going to grow up to be a pastor in a church. But that isn't at all the direction he took. No, the world was pulling him in a much different direction. Boy did that apple look appealing to him. Christian indulged in the trappings of this world one bite at a time. He was honest and open about everything he did as he was taking (and still is on it) this apple digesting journey.
But let me tell you something quite profound... There IS power in prayer! My children have pretty much told me the good, the bad and the ugly about their walk with and without the Lord. I have never judged them in the where, what and how's. I have just prayed for and loved them. I tried to remind them that God has great plans for them. And attempted to point them in the right direction. God has a calling for my children, my husband, my grandchildren and for me too.
This past week I had a very deep conversation with my 23 year old son about this very thing. We discussed deeply God's faithfulness and calling on our lives. At one point in our conversation he told me that he has observed that I, his mom, am not living up to my calling. I responded with, "I am so busy doing things that God hasn't called me to do and it is partially fear driven. What if I am not good enough. What if I finally finish writing that book? Or what if my "pay it forward" pantry ministry is a failure?" And he responded with, "If you are doing it for the Lord it will be a success".
As our conversation continued I asked him about his calling. And he said that at one point in his life he thought he was going to be a pastor of some sort. But that in his head he thought that was the easy way out. How could he support a family as a pastor? And he continued by stating that his life wasn't perfect. He is still making unwise choices. How could he be a pastor and eat the apple too? I reminded him that we are all imperfect. And that because of his imperfections he has a lot to offer. He has this ability to give Godly advice to his friends, family and total strangers. I have seen it and heard it. And I have been the recipient of his friendship and counsel.
Time flew that night as we spent well over an hour building each other up. We laughed once we realized that we both needed to take our own advice. We all need to have more faith that God will lead us when we follow the calling that He has placed on and in our hearts.
He said to them, "Where is your faith?" And they were afraid, and the marveled, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?"