I am not sure how many remember the advertisement for Calgon. There is a woman who is being overwhelmed with the craziness of everyday life. The dog tracks mud on the clean kitchen floor. Kids running around making a mess. She has dishes to clean, laundry to fold and floors to sweep. And she shout out, "Calgon, take me away!" And the next scene is of her relaxed in a tub full of bubbles.
I often find myself feeling this same kind of "calgon" moment. A.W. Tozer once wrote: " We Christians must simplify our lives or lose untold treasure on earth and in eternity. Modern civilization is so complex as to make the devotional life all but impossible. It wears us out by multiplying distractions and beats us down by destroying our solitude, where otherwise we might drink and renew our strength before going out to face the world again."
There are so many distractions throughout my day. And I only wish I could identify and deactivate them before I get too overwhelmed. Last week I found my emotions were all over the place. I think, for the first time since my Dad passed, I experienced depression. It was very difficult to find joy in my heart. And even more difficult to surrender my emotions. I would pray in the morning that God would fill me with His grace. And that His voice would echo in my head and heart. But, my cup seemed so empty. Nothing. I couldn't hear his voice. nor could I feel His presence. My cup did not run over. How could it? I had turned it upside down. I wasn't capable of letting anything in. I let every negative emotion pour over me. I had some really destructive pity parties. I threw a few temper tantrums. And allowed the sadness to build a very high, think and bitter wall.
The icing on my pity party cake was Mother's Day. I wanted to be celebrated. Earlier in the week I envisioned a day that was all about serving me. "After all I am always putting myself on the back burner", I pitifully said to myself. My kids are going to roll out the "red carpet" and bow to me all day. They will serve me coffee. And clean my entire house. They will honor and respect me There will be flowers and cards. And they will prepare a great meal. Or we could even order out. I wouldn't have to lift a finger. Oh this is going to be a glorious day!!
Wow. I set myself up for total disappointment. I got up in the morning. Got ready for church. And prepared a veggie tray for the mother's day/ baby's dedication brunch at my nieces. And proceeded to prepped a few things for my inherited daughter's birthday dinner that we were hosting that evening. I went upstairs to grab my beloved bible and saw that my husband had placed a card, from him, on my dresser. And, I got a "happy mother's day" from my oldest biological. I opened up my "facebook" account to find a beautiful letter from my oldest inherited daughter. We went to church and then to the brunch. My niece and her husband did an amazing job. And it was such a beautiful day. I came home and washed, sliced, diced, cooked and baked. Kids arrived home at 5pm. We ate sang Happy Birthday and chilled. The Birthday girl and I exchanged gifts. The words she wrote in the card for me I will hold in my heart. And, right before heading up the steps for bed, my oldest and youngest biologicals handed me a silly card.
What a day. I went to bed and cried. I was disappointed. And I am a brat. As I laid there praying I realized that I was truly blessed. There wasn't any special treatment, no "red carpet", no flowers, and my house still as it was the day before. I wanted so much to be showered with gifts and praises that I was too blind to see the blessings in that beautiful day. My depression and self absorption had robbed me of all joy and blessings.
Matthew 6: 19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also."
Even though He doesn't require deeds I am guilty of neglecting to roll out the "red carpet" for my God every day. He waits for me to surrender it all to Him. To praise Him, and glorify Him in all that I do. And I fail on a daily basis. He wants to fill my heart with His love and mercy. But, I still keep looking for the world to fill my heart with warm fuzzy things. And in turn I am frequently disappointed. And I become a victim of my emotions. I created this crazy "calgon' moment all on my own. The world requires me to do, run, make, and busy myself. All God requires of me is to come, be still and sit at His feet. It's time to turn the glass over and get filled. He wants me to have faith in His daily provision. Matthew 6:25 " take no thought for your life"
To have the ability to rest in God's bubble bath of amazing grace would be, well, AMAZING. This world is not going to be my permanent residence. I look forward to each day that He gives me. And I pray that He will continue to fill me with new grace each new day. And as I get caught up in the craziness of this world I am thankful He is waiting for me to shout, "God, take me away!"
Matthew 6:33-34 " but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
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