I often feel like I live in the story of the prodical son. In my life it's not the Prodical vs the "I am right here" son. In my world it is the Inherited vs the Biological.
I am certain that there is a jealousy on both sides. There has to be. The inherited's no longer live at home. The oldest inherited lives and works in Istanbul, Turkey. And the second inherited moved out, got married and is now expecting our first grandbaby at any moment. And then there are the three biological's. And all three of them still live at home. The oldest,who is currently working as a nanny and going to school, is preparing to move away within the next few months. The second biological is in her fourth year of nursing school. And the youngest is heading to our local Penn State campus for his freshman year. All five of them have very different lives but the one thing they all have in common is this "home" and the privilege of being a part of this very dysfunctional family.
Five very different individuals that want to be treated equally. God created each and everyone of us to fulfill a very specific purpose. And not one of us is treated equally or the same. For me, the Lord has given me the blessing of a big family. And there are individuals to that don't have any family at all. It isn't because God loves me more that He blessed me with an abundant family. And it isn't because God loves those other individuals less.... or more depending on how you perceive the situation at hand. We are given what is needed. I know that God is a faithful God and He is a fair God. He gives each one of us what we need when we need it. His grace is sufficient and He is a very gracious God. Very gracious. In case you didn't read that I said a very gracious God. So, with that being said, how do I treat these individuals and give what I can to each of them when they need something from me? I too am one person. I have that same, "What about me" attitude. I often feel like others are getting more attention, more joy, and more love than me. I throw a little tantrum in my head. And often become withdrawn from the world. Woe is me. How can I, a person who struggles with the same "I want, give it to me, me first, I want it all, hey why did you do that for him/her and not me" attitude, show my family that each one of them will always be given what they need.....when they need it and if I can give it.
With an attempt at following the example of the Father, I try my best give to each one as I see fit in my heart. I rejoice over each one of my five kids. I am sure that at one time or another each on has played a duel role in this life. They have each been the prodical and have all stepping in to play the role of the tried and true. I just pray that eventually they will all be excited about each others welcome "home" celebrations. As each one of the five "prodical's" have and will return there will be a a time of rejoicing! And as the "I am right here's" get wind of the celebration, there will most likely be a touch of jealousy that brews in their heart. Just like the other brother in Luke 15: 11-32 they feel like shouting what about me. The "I am here's" instantly forget about the grace that was and is shown daily to them. Jealousy is a very ugly and destructive emotion. I know that there is a tug going on. They too want to rejoice but their jealous hearts can, and often do, get in the way.
The Father rejoices and blesses the returning son. Even when this child spent all his dad's hard earned money, slandered his family name, and went against the grain. Dad's arms are extended and still wanting to embrace his lost child. The only thing the prodical was able to give was himself . Imagine how difficult it must be to be so disconnected, physically and or mentally, from the family because of distance, lies, actions and other choices one made. It makes for a very humbling experience to walk into a room of "I am always here's". I praise God that He has given me the example of what unconditional love is truly about. The prodical needs grace. And, I know that I myself, a former and currently struggling prodical, continually receives a fresh fill of his grace every day.
God's grace is enough. And I am so thankful that He is God and I am not. I try hard not to be one of those parents who gives only because I expect to receive something in return. But, I often find that I am overwhelmed by the lack of gratitude. All my jealous heart really desires in return is respect. You know clean up after yourself, say thank you, have a willingness to help with stuff. I all reality my list of "all I want in return's" could go on and on and on. Because I am a brat too. I give and that is the easy part. The hard part is giving unconditionally. I pray that God will continue to direct me. As I seek His truth that I will remember each day to give to my prodical's and always here's the abundant grace that my Father in heaven continually give to to me, His prodical, every day.
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