Smooth sailing

My boat is rocky as the wind and waves begin to pound. My passenger is sleeping, I'm normally safe when He's around. On my knees I fall for it is courage I must find. As faith and fear begin to battle for my heart and mind. The waves seem to be coming faster as my boat begins to fill. I long to hear those precious words that will make my storm be still. Fear is holding fast and shouts, "you are lost at sea". But faith just whispers of God's grace and His peace for me. Wake up, my Lord, I need you to calm my every fear. With a smile He calmly wipes every salty tear. Oh, one with little faith, you must go through every trial. Storms will come and storms will go... I will be there every mile.

 I recently celebrated my two year anniversary at my current place of employment.  And I found myself reflecting back on my first days, weeks and months on the job.

In the first few days I was filled with great excitement.  I remember thinking how amazing this new v voyage was going to be.  I would be working, every day, with a group of people that started the workday with a prayer ( or reflection ). The first two days that is exactly what occurred.

On the third day I showed up at the branch that would soon become my "home sweet home away from home".  And, much to my surprise, there was no prayer or reflection, for that matter, on that day. So I quietly, at my desk, prayed for God's blessings and for my new work "family".  As the day progressed I felt like I was learning a lot.  I had spent the previous thirteen years managing a Wellness center.  And this was completely different for me.  Well, after the first week I went home feeling like I was on cloud nine.  I prayed every morning prior to getting out of the car.  And smiled as a soaked in all the responsibilities of being a "staffing specialist".

Then week two happened.  The branch that I was assigned to work in was, at the time, completely overwhelmed and understaffed.  I began to feel the stress of the young woman, Rhonda, that was orienting me.  It was so busy.  She couldn't even take a lunch break let alone train me properly.  Week three I found myself driving to another location to orient at a slower paced branch with Chris and Christal.  And eventually, after two weeks under their guidance, I was ready to return to the "home sweet home away from home" branch.

 In the three months that followed I felt moments of great success and great failure.  There were individuals that seemed to want to see me fail.  I was told that I wasn't doing what was expected of me. And there were a few individuals that felt I wasn't a team player.  I remember feeling crushed.  You see I have always given one hundred percent in any job I have ever done.  And I am always willing to go above and beyond the "call of duty".  I remember praying and crying out to God.  I felt abandoned. And I began to question the path I had taken.

Lord, why on earth would you have directed my sails into the heart of one of the most tumultuous storms?  I thought the months leading up to my getting into this new boat were difficult enough. And now, there I was, feeling like a failure and my boat seemed to be sinking fast.

Then I remembered something very important.  God was and has always been in complete control of this journey.  I just needed to trust in Him.  He was there.  Waiting for me to surrender it all.  So, I decided to let Him take control of the sails.  Occasionally I would tug a little (because I didn't like the direction He was taking me).  But, I realized that my faith grew stronger as I trusted in Him more and more each day.

Shortly after my one year anniversary I was informed that my job was relocating.  And, unfortunately for me, it was to a location that was too far for me to commute. Feeling the waves crashing against the side of my boat once more. I was so upset because I had grown to love my co workers.  I had prayed everyday for them and we had grown to be a family. And not to mention that, by the grace of God, I had become quite proficient in my job. We were given two options. Relocate or leave.  I was completely torn.  But I knew God was in control. Once again I handed the sails over. After much prayer I sat down and with the help of my husband formulated a letter.  I stated that I could not relocate due to my family obligations.  And that I was willing to stay until they hired my replacement.  However, there was one stipulation. I had to stay at my current "home sweet home away from home" branch.

It has been almost a year since I wrote that letter and I am still reporting to the "home sweet home away from home" branch.  I know that the end of my "staffing specialist" days are on the horizon.  This past week I have been training a sweet young woman named Rachel to do my job.  Each morning I pray for her as she begins her Mercy voyage.  And I believe, by the grace of God, she is going to be fabulous.  I want her to be one of the best staffing specialists my company has ever encountered. After-all the student should one day be just as good if not greater than the teacher.  I can only hope that it's smooth sailing for her.


My life has never been what one would call the reflection of perfection.  However, God has been truly faithful.  And I know that He has great plans for me.  His grace is new every morning.  My future is looking bright. And my days will continue to be full.   There will always be moments when I feel like the storm is never going to end.  But with great faith I can open my eyes to realize that a tumultuous storm has the potential of becoming a smooth sailing sea.

"God is our refuge and strength,an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear...." He is ever-present in this gusty storm too. He reminds me that even though I have a little faith, like that of a mustard seed, I can move mountains.(Matthew 17:20).