Have you ever felt obsessed about someone or something? Do you find yourself every minute of the day thinking about that one thing or someone? Are there moments that you would do anything, yes anything and everything, just to be with that person or to have your hands wrapped around that one thing. Well that is exactly what our relationship with God should be like. I find myself throughout the day trying to make a conscious effort to seek Him first. But, I want to get to a place in my heart where I am truly obsessed with God.
God is so generous with His love for me. He never hesitates to shower me with love. And has already given me the ultimate gift. Life! And here I am putting my personal safety and comfort above what God may have in-store for my life. The past few months the Lord has been putting something on my heart to do. And I have been dragging my feet. There is this fear of "what will people think?" that is swimming around my head. And at times that is a little crippling. You see, blogging is a bit of a cop out. I don't have to see peoples faces or hear what is being said after it is received. But to have to stand in front of a group of tell them about how God is working in and through my life. Now that is scary. I know that if I am obedient in His will I will be blessed. By now you all know that I am part of a "blended" family. And this is what has been placed on my heart to share with the world. Or my community. We live in a world of broken homes, broken lives, and just plain brokenness. And I have been hesitating to share my story. What a brat. God gave His one and only Son for my salvation. And I am hedging on sharing how He blessed my life while putting it in a blender.
Many days I hear this voice inside my head that causes me to think that I am just not good enough or that my story isn't captivating. Why would God want me to share the craziness of "blending" two very different sets of kids together. And the more I think the more paralyzed I feel. Fear grips me. What will my husband think? And the children. How will they feel about me sharing our story? Who will listen to me? Where will I speak? How do I begin? Where do I end? All these thing prevent me from moving in the direction He is calling me to go. So now what?
Faith. I need to stop in my tracks and hold on to my faith. You see as long as I continue to seek me and what "I" am afraid of. I will never be able to glorify God in my life. He wants me to share His story of how He placed two families into a blender and hit the pulse button. And He wants to be magnified in and through the story of us.
Imagine if we did all things to glorify God. Everything that we did we put Him first. And in turn we begin to be filled with His grace and love. It reminds me of a song from my childhood. My mom is a huge John Denver fan and I heard this song daily for many of my childhood years. And I would always think of my parents and how they conquered their tribulations only to be filled with a deeper love. But this week as I thought about what it would be like to glorify God these lyrics came to mind. "You fill up my senses, Like a night in a forest. Like the mountains in springtime. Like a walk in the rain. Like a storm in the desert. Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses. Come fill me again. Come let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter. Let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you. Let me always be with you. Come let me love you. Come love me again." In order for me to be capable of glorifying God. I need to be filled with His glory. I have prayed that He would fill my senses with the fragrance of His love. And that I would feel His abounding love for me as I walk through the valleys and deep forests of this life. To be able to feel His amazing grace to wash over me like rain. To know deep in my heart that His love for me and forgiveness for me is deeper than any ocean. To be filled so much that His love is overflowing from me on to others. To give all glory, honor and praise to the One who provides. After-all, it is because of His great love that my "blended" family is what it is today.
I am blessed that I can come before my creator and say, "I love you. And I want to always be near you." But what is even more spectacular is that He sings this to my heart every day. He sings this to all of us. He desires for us to freely love others the same way that He loves us. If we are to glorify Him we need to love on everyone. Not just those people in our lives that are easy to love. We are called to love the people in our lives that can be difficult to be around. In Luke 14: 12-14 the Lord calls upon us to open our hearts to those who won't give back or cannot give back. It is easy to love those who reciprocate with love. But imagine trying to love someone who couldn't or didn't want to love you in return. I can share with you that in the very beginning of my marriage, to Greg, my precious inherited daughters had no room in their hearts for me. And more often than not, throughout the first few years of "blending" together, I found myself tearfully on my knees praying for God to give me the grace to show them love. Unconditional love. And God would remind me how, in the beginning, I wasn't so worthy of His love. But He walked beside me through each storm. And eventually we began to dance in the puddles.
One of the most precious gifts God has given me is a heart that is soft. I normally want to serve, give and forgive. However, there have been moments in my life that I have lost my cool and allowed resentment to build into multiple layers. One of those days being yesterday. I have been the one on the receiving end of forgiveness many times due to my heart growing hard. It is a very humbling and overwhelming experience. I praise God for giving me a fresh fill of grace each day. I have learned that forgiving without hearing the offender say, "I am sorry." is freeing. And as the mom of a "blended" crew I had to daily show love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. If it wasn't for God's gift I am certain things would be much different today. We have grown so much over the years. We have gone from being complete strangers to being a family.
Earlier I stated that I want to to be in a place where my heart is truly obsessed with God. I believe that I am not far off. I have a love for my God that causes my heart to skip a beat. I look forward to my quiet moments with Him. I long to see His face. I have great joy in my heart when I come home from work and I see that my dad's bible is sitting on the counter. I get excited to see what God has for my to feast my eyes and heart on. And I pray daily that my children, all five of them, and there spouses, friends, children and the generations to follow, will seek to glorify God in this precious gift of life that He has graced them with. I pray that we as a family will be increasingly filled with a true obsession for God. I know that we are blessed to have each other. And I pray that as we continue to grow we realize that all the passion, love and gifts we have come from Him. I know that He is continuously working on our hearts. And that He is doing amazing things through each of us in such a way that He is receiving ALL of the glory.
God is so generous with His love for me. He never hesitates to shower me with love. And has already given me the ultimate gift. Life! And here I am putting my personal safety and comfort above what God may have in-store for my life. The past few months the Lord has been putting something on my heart to do. And I have been dragging my feet. There is this fear of "what will people think?" that is swimming around my head. And at times that is a little crippling. You see, blogging is a bit of a cop out. I don't have to see peoples faces or hear what is being said after it is received. But to have to stand in front of a group of tell them about how God is working in and through my life. Now that is scary. I know that if I am obedient in His will I will be blessed. By now you all know that I am part of a "blended" family. And this is what has been placed on my heart to share with the world. Or my community. We live in a world of broken homes, broken lives, and just plain brokenness. And I have been hesitating to share my story. What a brat. God gave His one and only Son for my salvation. And I am hedging on sharing how He blessed my life while putting it in a blender.
Many days I hear this voice inside my head that causes me to think that I am just not good enough or that my story isn't captivating. Why would God want me to share the craziness of "blending" two very different sets of kids together. And the more I think the more paralyzed I feel. Fear grips me. What will my husband think? And the children. How will they feel about me sharing our story? Who will listen to me? Where will I speak? How do I begin? Where do I end? All these thing prevent me from moving in the direction He is calling me to go. So now what?
Faith. I need to stop in my tracks and hold on to my faith. You see as long as I continue to seek me and what "I" am afraid of. I will never be able to glorify God in my life. He wants me to share His story of how He placed two families into a blender and hit the pulse button. And He wants to be magnified in and through the story of us.
Imagine if we did all things to glorify God. Everything that we did we put Him first. And in turn we begin to be filled with His grace and love. It reminds me of a song from my childhood. My mom is a huge John Denver fan and I heard this song daily for many of my childhood years. And I would always think of my parents and how they conquered their tribulations only to be filled with a deeper love. But this week as I thought about what it would be like to glorify God these lyrics came to mind. "You fill up my senses, Like a night in a forest. Like the mountains in springtime. Like a walk in the rain. Like a storm in the desert. Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses. Come fill me again. Come let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter. Let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you. Let me always be with you. Come let me love you. Come love me again." In order for me to be capable of glorifying God. I need to be filled with His glory. I have prayed that He would fill my senses with the fragrance of His love. And that I would feel His abounding love for me as I walk through the valleys and deep forests of this life. To be able to feel His amazing grace to wash over me like rain. To know deep in my heart that His love for me and forgiveness for me is deeper than any ocean. To be filled so much that His love is overflowing from me on to others. To give all glory, honor and praise to the One who provides. After-all, it is because of His great love that my "blended" family is what it is today.
I am blessed that I can come before my creator and say, "I love you. And I want to always be near you." But what is even more spectacular is that He sings this to my heart every day. He sings this to all of us. He desires for us to freely love others the same way that He loves us. If we are to glorify Him we need to love on everyone. Not just those people in our lives that are easy to love. We are called to love the people in our lives that can be difficult to be around. In Luke 14: 12-14 the Lord calls upon us to open our hearts to those who won't give back or cannot give back. It is easy to love those who reciprocate with love. But imagine trying to love someone who couldn't or didn't want to love you in return. I can share with you that in the very beginning of my marriage, to Greg, my precious inherited daughters had no room in their hearts for me. And more often than not, throughout the first few years of "blending" together, I found myself tearfully on my knees praying for God to give me the grace to show them love. Unconditional love. And God would remind me how, in the beginning, I wasn't so worthy of His love. But He walked beside me through each storm. And eventually we began to dance in the puddles.
One of the most precious gifts God has given me is a heart that is soft. I normally want to serve, give and forgive. However, there have been moments in my life that I have lost my cool and allowed resentment to build into multiple layers. One of those days being yesterday. I have been the one on the receiving end of forgiveness many times due to my heart growing hard. It is a very humbling and overwhelming experience. I praise God for giving me a fresh fill of grace each day. I have learned that forgiving without hearing the offender say, "I am sorry." is freeing. And as the mom of a "blended" crew I had to daily show love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. If it wasn't for God's gift I am certain things would be much different today. We have grown so much over the years. We have gone from being complete strangers to being a family.
Earlier I stated that I want to to be in a place where my heart is truly obsessed with God. I believe that I am not far off. I have a love for my God that causes my heart to skip a beat. I look forward to my quiet moments with Him. I long to see His face. I have great joy in my heart when I come home from work and I see that my dad's bible is sitting on the counter. I get excited to see what God has for my to feast my eyes and heart on. And I pray daily that my children, all five of them, and there spouses, friends, children and the generations to follow, will seek to glorify God in this precious gift of life that He has graced them with. I pray that we as a family will be increasingly filled with a true obsession for God. I know that we are blessed to have each other. And I pray that as we continue to grow we realize that all the passion, love and gifts we have come from Him. I know that He is continuously working on our hearts. And that He is doing amazing things through each of us in such a way that He is receiving ALL of the glory.
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